And So It Has Been Decided

A Declaration
based on a single email thread over the course of about an hour

We shall move to France and eat and fuck and take codeine with R.Crumb, Johnny Depp, and Chris Cornell. Flavored vodka plays some part too.

We declare that for entertainment purposes we will watch Wipeout on the TeeVees and laugh at the fatties biffing on the big red balls. But if given the opportunity, we shall also biff on the big red balls on the TeeVee as well.

We will teach all our "urban" children to be Jr. environmentalists and Jr. house-sitters and Jr. pet-walkers and Jr. thinkers and Jr. artists.

We command all of our iPods to only crank out The Hits (all rapid fire style because style never, ever, ever goes out of style).

We shall build churches, houses, hospitals, and business offices because we can, even though it's all so pointless anymore.

We declare John Kerry to be The Worst and when John Kerry visits our France, we shall leave only to return when John Kerry leaves our France.

We declare that life is grand and that we are the new "spineless heroes to 60 million water cooler wimps who have their password written on the back of their hands."