Reality Check

At some point I realized I was sobbing. Not just crying, but good old-fashioned sobbing. As my grandmother would have said, "full-out boo-hooing." Gasping for air sobbing. Quietly sobbing as not to wake up the kid. Tears streaming and such.

Day two of the "fever of unknown origin (FUO)" proceeds. Marches on like Nazi troops into Iran. But, the liquid Tylenol is now being rejected so there might not be much relief tonight. That's the bad news. Worse news is that the back up plan calls for suppositories. Never pleasant.

But, this rejection might be good too because it means she's not just fighting the FUO, but she's just pissed enough to fight me. Fight Tylenol; fight the power. Fight the system as she's being groomed.

To see her you'd think she just washed up on the shore of Florida after floating on a 2 liter bottle from Cuba or some shit. She's beat, floppy, and way too hot. Hot to the touch. Hot like a, well, like a 105-degree light bulb. Hot enough to make the doctor shrug and say, "You just have to wait these things out." Hot enough to boil the sun. Hola, amigo. Ess thees America?

She's tough though. And I'm tough. I'm sick too. But, she's sicker. She's bad ass enough to try to take care of me. I'm bad ass enough to let her. We persist.

But, why am I crying? It's not because I'm necessarily frightened (which, honestly, as a parent, you always are). But I'm sobbing because as she finally put her heavy, fuzzy, hot, hot head down, she reached up and hugged me and said, "I love you, Daddy."

"This, I believe..." (thanks, Mark) is my reason to exist.

My Wheelchair Pony


Picking/Switching Teams

Yeah, I know. Hillary, right? Woo! Best candidate. Could win and all that shit.

I still believe it, but here's the fallacy: I was working with a who-COULD-win framework.

Fuck that!

I know her politics are bullshit. So what? She could and probably will win.


There's a new HNIC in town. My boy, Barry.

What was I thinking? Barry Hussein for Prez. What are you going to motherfucking do?

Rich Sez

"This is what white people do on Saturday night."

Dave Sez

"Definitely looks like a bug bite.

Have you seen anything like this around the house?"


What the Hell?!

What the hell is this on my head?

Everyone has a different guess. It kind of itches, kind of tingles?

Maybe the government came in last night and implanted thought tracking chips. Maybe.

Maybe bugs have laid eggs. Maybe.

I don't remember bumping my head. But, often one forgets stuff after a bump. Maybe.

Hopefully it's not a "grooming issue." Am I dirty? Eeewww.

Maybe this is what happens during the balding process. Maybe.


So, I'm reading Matt Taibbi's "Spanking the Donkey: Dispatches From the Dumb Season" - a collection of Matt's articles and I notice he's done some writing for The Beast out of Buffalo, right?

So, naturally, I go to the Beast to see what's what, right? The lead article is called:

The BEAST 50 Most Loathsome People in America, 2006

How could I resist, right? But, not penned by Matt.

Taibbi writes for a number of publications including Rolling Stone [note: no link, ha!]. But, he is probably most famous for "The 52 Funniest Things About the Upcoming Death of the Pope" - but, hey, right?

The People Demand Our Rights

"The Flesh Club has survived so long because it's hard to prove wholesale prostitution and, more important, stripping is often viewed as constitutionally protected speech."

The people united will never be defeated [or, Ahh, the constitution!]


Then, Monday


The Beard Deal

It's gone. The experiment is over. Not that it was a formal experiment with a control group and random assignment, but it's done. For now, anyway.

What happened? It's too much work. Normally, I shave then shave again when I either have to or it just feels like it's time. So, usually every seven to 10 days.

But, I tried the beard. I even did a little sculpting (even it out here and here...and here and here...and here...). It was the sculpting, obviously, that was the deal killer. I'm not the grooming type. More precisely, I'm not the maintenance type. God knows I could never keep a goatee or soul patch or mustache (full disclosure: I had a killer mustache from, say '83-'88, seriously).

Shave. 10 days later shave again. All off. Done. No consideration.

I think the beard forced me to focus way too much attention on myself and my face. Too many people asking about. Providing their opinions about it. Looking at me. Go away, people. Stop looking at me (but, LOOK AT ME!).

Anyway, that's it for now. Bye-bye face hair. I may try again (because the B tells me to), but it won't be sculpted at all. I'll look more mechanical engineer than Justin Timberlake.

Everyone is Pregnant

Currently there are four people I know - no, wait, let me count again... 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 - there are five people I know that are pregnant (who are pregnant). One with twins for crying out loud.

Doesn't anyone listen to me? Stop procreating! What's wrong with you people? Keep your damn pants on!

Whatever...congrats to all (but stop it!). Good luck with you and all your damn babies.

The hubris of you people to think you should repopulate this planet. It's not a competition, people.

What is this, bird flu?



Collaboration of
R. & Aline Crumb <-- clicky, dammit!

A conversation with the damn New York Times (tm).

The Crumbs' Underground Comics <-- clicky, dammit!

A conversation with the damn NPR (tm).

The power of observation

"I don't know the URL for my own website where I post my own music. I have to Google myself or one of the album titles to find it. Oh, and Google is a verb.
That too.

Sometimes I just go to Middlespace and follow the links to my site from there. So maybe this should be an observation on the power of Middlespace. Oh, and Middlespace is a verb.
That too."
- RPWalk

Happy Happy

Best phrase of the morning:

"Happiness is better equated with satisfaction than pleasure, because the pursuit of pleasure lands us on a never-ending hedonic treadmill that paradoxically leads to misery."
- University psychiatrist Gregory Berns in Satisfaction (Henry Holt, 2005)

(Can't Get No) Satisfaction <-- clicky

Untitled (@ night)


Ash Wednesday - Twin Towers

Favorite Daddy

B: Daddy. You're my favorite daddy.

Me: Favorite? Who else is on this list?

B: Mark Reed.

Daddy Rulz #s 1-4 of 100

1) Check yourself before you wreck yourself.

2) The skills pay the bills.

3) Take your time pooping.

4) Just play the (social) game sometimes; people give you stuff.

To be continued...

[I'm claiming copyright on this shit "Daddy Rulz" and all 100 in case my peeps want to do a book or some shit. So. There. I said it.]


Jesus, is every-fucking-body going into rehab?

Either I have to open a rehab center or I have to get into one because that where everybody else is.

No matter what you do, rehab's the ultimate do-over.

Who's going next? I'm guessing Michael Jackson because he's feeling left out of the mix, er, the cycle.

Jealous Much?

th nd of privacy, u thre?

“It is a constant surprise to those of us over a certain age, let’s say 30, that large parts of our life can end up online.”

Sammy With the Eyeball Out

Track Marks

Journalism 101: Same Event - Two Views

NBA All-Star Weekend

Bill Simmons

“Undaunted, I stormed off and tore down the Strip, reaching my destination within 20 minutes and only feeling scared 347 times. As I headed up to my room to change, I had an epiphany. Wait, I don't have to make that walk again. I can just stay here and gamble. Which was exactly what happened. So what if I missed a fantastic night at Pure that featured approximately 700 funny stories (none of which can be printed here)? I got to play blackjack with some complete strangers!” [more, go clicky]

Scoop Jackson

“Inside the Venetian Hotel there was a crowd outside of Nike Town, waiting for Tony Parker and Kobe Bryant. I've been chosen to host a Q&A event with them and the Original Air Force 1 six (Michael Cooper, Mychal Thompson, Calvin Natt, Moses Malone, Bobby Jones and Jamaal "Cornbread" Wilkes). Although I have a certain love for both Tony (who is my cousin through marriage) and Kobe (because he's Kobe), sitting on stage with six of the players who helped change the game was one of the special moments of not only the weekend but a career.” [more, go clicky]