No one has ever liked me – just liked me
like you sometimes just instinctively like a person
Needed things from me, curious of me,
foolish enough to compete with me? Sure
If I am being honest with myself and the world
I have to admit that no one has ever liked me
Wanted me, needed me, genuinely loved me,
sympathized with my situation? Sure
But no one has ever liked me just to like me
for reasons unrelated to investment returns
Appreciated something I could do,
envied some natured or nurtured aspect of my being? Sure
But liked?
Not likely.
I’ve always known all of this and there has
never been a moment I did not know all of this
Perhaps I make it way too difficult on purpose –
a buy-in way too high for a pay-out far too low
Weird and different and quirky and obstinate –
arrogant and flippant and unwilling to assimilate
I’ve heard it all all the time time after time
since the beginning of my existence here in existence
Truths reveal narratives unbelievably complicated
and sometimes embarrassingly messy
But maybe these are all of the truths
I have spent so much time and energy cultivating
Yet liked?
Not quite.
I can be as lovely a friend as I can be
a pretentious fool – I know I know already
Sometimes I find absolute avoidance to be an
acceptable manner of dealing with situations
I am a snob, an elitist, and always self-correct and
so much better and superior to the majority
Yet I am absolutely nothing in the scope of everything –
just one speck of dust afloat in all of matter
My only hope is to be as honest to and with myself as I
inexplicably expect you to be with you and yours
Or maybe this is all just another table read for
a character in desperate search of an amusing role
Thursday
I Know I Know Already
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