My Town, April 30, 2010

H-W Trophy After

H-W Trophy During

"When your long-planned film project is stuck in the mud, one must refinish vintage furniture."

- Ty Hardaway


Contrail with Lensflare

Second Best Spring Annual

A: Goslings are first.


Ask Ty...April 29 [The Mulatto Solidarity Product Line Question]

It must be Tuesday Thursday, Middlespace Cadets, because I'm answering your questions
Q: Dear Ty,

I like your "America's Black Friend" shirt, they are very funny. But can you also make something funny for your fellow mulattoes?

- Rhiannon
Ty: Good question and an even better observation, Rhiannon. True, we are the Mulattoes of America. True, my "Black Friend" shirt is a bit misleading since I'm half black at best. True, and unlike our president, I selected more than one box on the 2010 census form. In fact, I selected three of 'em. If Barack was only going to check on box, he should have really poked the 'Bagger crowd in the eye by only selecting the white one.

So, Rhiannon, just for you and everyone who wants to purchase one, I created something not-so-funny actually:

It says, "Mulattoes - widely regarded as the most beautiful people in the world." That's science, look it up: [clicky]. And it's so true, Rhiannon, just like you. Someday I'll get to a Quadroon product line...for our children. And some "one-drop" gear for the future.

Just a guess,




Zero steps forward
Technology stonewalls art
Many steps backward



I just had a half birthday of sorts
Forty-four point five years to a moment
The way I count it
I am more than half alive

Or more than half dead
Dependent on how one measures a glass
On one hand nothing has changed
Whilst every thing continuously changes

And at this juncture of reflection I have either
Done more than enough foundational assembly where
I can finally begin utilizing
Honed muscle memories and create in peace

Or I simply have not done
Nearly enough to even begin to
Whisper, "Look at me, Look at me"
As the clocks tick faster and all syncopated

Dependent on how one measures a glass
There's the life half and there is a death half
Individual differences shape individual contexts
Only the cliché of time will determine how we are judged


Your Logic Defies, Or, You People Are Creeping Me Out

So I see there are over 600,000 people who have signed up for this Facebook thingy:
Really? You want the President dead? Whoa! Praying for it even. Well, I'll tell you first: that's pretty fucking crazy, patriots. What kind of kook-jobs are you anyway?

No matter what a destructive dimwit W Bush was (or how dangerous his cronies and policies were) I never once (ever) wished the guy dead because that's not only crazy it's treasonous. I just didn't vote for him and discussed, debated, and argued with my fellow voting citizens the reasons why. But never once did I hope the guy was dead. Not W, his father, the horrid Reagan, or the criminal Nixon. In fact, of all the liberal doo-good-niks I know, I cannot think of anyone who wished those United States presidents dead.

Ironic bumper stickers or snarky columns? Sure. A well attended rally? That's your right. Exercise your legal vote? Don't vote for the guy. Wish a fellow humans dead? Never thought of that one, ese. What kind of a sicko loonies are you? You're now in the same category as Mark David Chapman, John Hinckley, and Saddam Hussein. Look in a mirror.

Please switch to capitalist corporation Starbucks™ decaf for a while and chill the hell out. Did you even think about what you were clicking with this Facebook thing? Socialist? America will continue to be a non-socialist, market society long past our individual lifespans. We currently have historically low taxes and crime and somehow there's this magic problem that the magic new president created all on his magic own and you malleable lemmings now pray the dude dead? That's creepy as hell. Your logic defies.

Oh, you were joking about all this dying business. I get it now. It's...your kind of...humor. You're the cool, dark humor kids. Look, I don't agree with all of any administrations decisions or philosophies nor am I a Republican or a Democrat, but I'm also not wishing anybody dead. And I'm not joking about it either because it's rude, disrespectful, and just immature. Those tri-cornered hats are giving you brain damage. Or, maybe that Don't Tread On Me snake bit you a few times too many.

Or, as I surmise, you're being tricked. Whipped into some sort of fake outrage by people a hell of a lot smarter than you. Not Glenn Beck or Rush Limbaugh. They're merely silly mouthpiece puppets who perform like dancing monkeys for peanuts. I'm talking about Karl (ironic), Grover, and Dick (ironic); the real fat cats making the calls. Remember, Libertarians don't trust the Republicans either. They all suck but I don't want them dead, not even Cheney.

I'm telling you, Luther, you people are creeping me out. Your talkin' crazy and I'm now excusing myself from the table.

You folks need to breathe. Relax. Try a chamomile tea and watch "Minute To Win It" or some shit. Take up watercolors.

Good thing it's not about race. Damn.


Chloe's Today I

Chloe's Today II

Fun Talk with Ty & Rich - Insider Reference Edition

Ty: OK, so this link is to video featuring a really old friend of mine from back in the day. Let's call him "Joe" since that's his real name.

He plays drums in the SoCal band Intruder, a Van Halen tribute band. At first I was all, what? Dude's playing in tribute band? WTF? But then I see this and I get it. Shit's fun! I totally get it. Joe wins.

Who am I to diss somebody having fun? What kind of a killjoy would I be? I was all frontin' like I'm disappointed that he didn't become the next Coldplay meets Jay-Z or some shit.

Rich: Shit's fun is right. I get it. What are we supposed to do with our time, sit at home and watch Desperate Housewives reruns? Go out and start a tribute band.

Ty: Exacto-right! Why not is the question to be justified when you tell somebody you're starting a Van Halen tribute band.

Rich: My friend Jenny was telling me about Dark Star Orchestra, which sounds like a totally lame scene. People following a Grateful Dead tribute band. She said she thought it was totally lame too, but then went once and was like, hey, this is fun. Bunch of people listening to good music. What more do you need?

Ty: I'm nobody's judge. Fuck, have fun people. Conversely, quit doing shit that's not fun anymore. Hell, I may start an Intruder tribute band.

Darn Hippies

The Other Side of Glass

The Brown Paper Bag Test

Movers & Shakers


Memory Talk with Ty & Rich - Insider Reference Edition

As partially thumb-typed on an iPhone® by Apple®:
Ty: Please remind me simetime of something.

Rich: OK, what?

Ty: That I have An Idea.

Rich: Ikay. Simetime.

Ty: See? I had forgotten already. You know exactly what I'm saying.

[20 minutes later]

Rich: Now is sometime. Don't forget your idea.

Ty: What?!

Rich: Your idea. You wanted me to remind you that you had an idea. Don't forget your idea.

Ty: Oh yeah, that. Thanks. What was that? Oh yeah.

Once I edit (Big Dave Wave edits) all the MoA videos together -- 1-10 @ 35.5 minutes -- and add whatever audio and video embellishments I'm going to add to it, I had the idea to also record a commentary track (as a bonus track) with me, you, and maybe BDW.

You know, more insider reference Priceless Banter. Doy! You know exactly, just chat while the video runs.

Rich: Commentary. Brilliant.

Middlespace of America - 10

[Headphones are "good a thing"]

Music by the Kingdom of Leisure
[Middlespace of America Video Album]
[Middlespace of America - 9]
[Middlespace of America - 8]
[Middlespace of America - 7]
[Middlespace of America - 6]

[Middlespace of America - 5]
[Middlespace of America - 4]
[Middlespace of America - 3]
[Middlespace of America - 2]
[Middlespace of America - 1]

The International Federation of Dudes with Free Caps

IFDFC, doy!

Ask Ty...April 19 [The Hashtag Question]

It must be Tuesday Monday, Middlespace Cadets, because I'm answering your questions
Q: Dear Ty,

Remember when Iran held an election and we all totally cared forever? Remember that?

- HashtagIranElection
Ty: Good question and an even better observation, #HashtagIranElection.

Has it been a month and a half since the last Ask Ty...? Wow, that's pretty astounding, if you think about it. I know what you're saying. You're saying, "Ty's not doing his job." But Ty says, "STFU, you aren't doing yours!" If nobody's submitting questions, I'm not posting answers. Oh, I guess you have everything all figured out then? Hey, good for you. That makes me so happy. It gives me some flex-time too.

Yes, your question, HashtagIranElection. I remember that shit. Oh so people are on the Twitter so they're going to bring Iran down now. Tweeters were going to bring down a country on the other side of the planet using some phones. Because some dude's got a Blackberry, he's going to influence the perspectives of near-nuclear dictators (HashtagKimJongIl). The fuck?! I'm dying over these people thinking that because they have a goddamn iPhone, they are suddenly somehow everything.

Yeah, we totally cared about Iran like 4evr. But that was a million internet years ago. What about Haiti? That was just in January. Remember when we hashtag-cared about Haiti and were crying and stumbling over ourselves to HELP and collecting nickels to donate and TWEETING like a motherfucker?! Haiti was the SHIT until the Super Bowl came around and we all forgot about Haiti (HashtagWhoDat). HashtagIranElection, you're so right how dumb we have become! And thus, we now have these HashtagTeaBaggers making shit up to mask deep-rooted racism, sexism, and homophobia. Oy vey!

What happened to the USA being don't-fuck-with-tough and movie-star-popular? John Wayne, Elvis, Frank Sinatra and Ronald Reagan would each cry a single racist tear like that litter PSA Indian dude over how soft and scared we've become.

And speaking of the hashtag, since when did we all move back to like pre-1990 computer language. Hashtags? For serious? And this whole "@name" thing as followup. The nerds won! THE NERDS WON! Or, are we simply getting back to BASIC?
10 INPUT "What is your name: ", U$
20 PRINT "Hello "; U$
30 INPUT "How many stars do you want: ", N
40 S$ = ""
50 FOR I = 1 TO N
60 S$ = S$ + "*"
90 INPUT "Do you want more stars? ", A$
100 IF LEN(A$) = 0 THEN GOTO 90
110 A$ = LEFT$(A$, 1)
120 IF A$ = "Y" OR A$ = "y" THEN GOTO 30
130 PRINT "Goodbye "; U$
140 END
OSTMJ! What next, heroic patriots of the USA?

Just a guess,



Like a Hank Williams II Song

"Jump" by Van Halen

tr00f Talk with Ty & Seany Hi-def - Insider Reference Edition

Ty: I think I prefer overt racists to nambly-pambly doo-gooders.

Sean: As do I.

At least the overt racists are honest. Mamby-pamby do-gooders are the real fakers, acting out of guilt for actually being racist underneath their Obama t-shirts.

Ty: No shit, don. NO SHIT!

Sean: You can quote me on that one, mi hermano!

Ty: Really?! I'd love to.

Sean: By all means.

Sunday Comics: Failure of the Machines


The Twelve-Point-Two Percent Factor

The curmudgeon is loose
Maybe set off by the pollen
or maybe it was the meds that prevent
the pollen from setting off the reactions
that set it all off

But the curmudgeon is cranky
At all of it - by all of it
From the impartation system
that allows this whole idiotic mindset
thing to happen since forever

To the personal weaknesses that allow
the collective to actually believe that
your hate is your fear as patriotic cowards
Magically twisted internal justifications
Now crying for America is the new praying

Suddenly and magically
Us twelve-point-two percent
are now magically and suddenly over-privileged
And elitist a threat to non-running colors
But you said our post-racial skins would have no color

I blame us almighty united
From PC to shining Tea
The only reality I observe is your
hate and fear of
Logic and reason and sanity

I have grown weary
of pausing my precious solitary life
to again enforce the rules and
explain and lecture you
About what's what anew

And you
You awoke the sleeping curmudgeon
Who is just saddened and embarrassed for you
Quit scaring yourself over your own lies

Portrait of a Working Man


Kentucky, 1999 (For Philly Boy Gabe)


Cadets. This is your last Middlespace of America video submission assignment. I need your full participation because I have A Plan (doy).

We are I am now preparing to work on Track #10 (the final track on the piece before The Assembly).

For this round we are hunting for:

If you know my gmail, send it there. If you don't send it to:


Go, Cadets, go!

Today at Chloe's