Ask Ty...April 19 [The Hashtag Question]

It must be Tuesday Monday, Middlespace Cadets, because I'm answering your questions
Q: Dear Ty,

Remember when Iran held an election and we all totally cared forever? Remember that?

- HashtagIranElection
Ty: Good question and an even better observation, #HashtagIranElection.

Has it been a month and a half since the last Ask Ty...? Wow, that's pretty astounding, if you think about it. I know what you're saying. You're saying, "Ty's not doing his job." But Ty says, "STFU, you aren't doing yours!" If nobody's submitting questions, I'm not posting answers. Oh, I guess you have everything all figured out then? Hey, good for you. That makes me so happy. It gives me some flex-time too.

Yes, your question, HashtagIranElection. I remember that shit. Oh so people are on the Twitter so they're going to bring Iran down now. Tweeters were going to bring down a country on the other side of the planet using some phones. Because some dude's got a Blackberry, he's going to influence the perspectives of near-nuclear dictators (HashtagKimJongIl). The fuck?! I'm dying over these people thinking that because they have a goddamn iPhone, they are suddenly somehow everything.

Yeah, we totally cared about Iran like 4evr. But that was a million internet years ago. What about Haiti? That was just in January. Remember when we hashtag-cared about Haiti and were crying and stumbling over ourselves to HELP and collecting nickels to donate and TWEETING like a motherfucker?! Haiti was the SHIT until the Super Bowl came around and we all forgot about Haiti (HashtagWhoDat). HashtagIranElection, you're so right how dumb we have become! And thus, we now have these HashtagTeaBaggers making shit up to mask deep-rooted racism, sexism, and homophobia. Oy vey!

What happened to the USA being don't-fuck-with-tough and movie-star-popular? John Wayne, Elvis, Frank Sinatra and Ronald Reagan would each cry a single racist tear like that litter PSA Indian dude over how soft and scared we've become.

And speaking of the hashtag, since when did we all move back to like pre-1990 computer language. Hashtags? For serious? And this whole "@name" thing as followup. The nerds won! THE NERDS WON! Or, are we simply getting back to BASIC?
10 INPUT "What is your name: ", U$
20 PRINT "Hello "; U$
30 INPUT "How many stars do you want: ", N
40 S$ = ""
50 FOR I = 1 TO N
60 S$ = S$ + "*"
90 INPUT "Do you want more stars? ", A$
100 IF LEN(A$) = 0 THEN GOTO 90
110 A$ = LEFT$(A$, 1)
120 IF A$ = "Y" OR A$ = "y" THEN GOTO 30
130 PRINT "Goodbye "; U$
140 END
OSTMJ! What next, heroic patriots of the USA?

Just a guess,