Middlespacer Correspondence Korner

Foot Dragging: "Maybe Hillary Clinton is staying in the race for a much deeper and more heroic reason (I know this sounds crazy). If Hillary Clinton were to drop from the race it would give the pundits and the Republicans a head start on their campaign to target Obama. Maybe, just maybe, Clinton staying in the race buys Obama another handful of weeks of protection from the machine. As it is now everyone is attacking and ridiculing Clinton. Maybe she's doing this for the good of the party, to deflect the inevitable salvo of bullshit attacks which are sure to come.... Maybe these people are smarter than the media. Maybe they have their own game plan drawn up. One that isn't dictated by CNN. Maybe James Carville is back in the mix... Then again who am I kidding...this race is in the refrigerator."

- Cassady
Wow, this is brilliant thinking, but sadly we're talking about Democrats here. Your thinking would mean that the Democrats--from Nancy and Harry to Howard and Big Mouth Bill--are executing a plan. In order for the Democrats to execute a plan they would have had to have thought of a plan, kept said plan secret, and executed the plan down to some pretty nuanced details. Not to say that a plan like this is outrageous, after all the Republicans executed just such a grand old plan that allowed George W. Bush to be the 43rd president of these United States of America (shame on the rest of us for electing him to a second term but that was against that jackass Kerry). The Republican plan was incredible from the faux-outrage of the "citizen-protesters" in Florida with their Sore-Loserman signs to a fix in the Supreme Court that allowed the selection of Bush over Sore Gore. They carefully hid National Guard records and drunk driving convictions. I mean think about it, they kicked ass getting Bush into office.

But they are Republicans. Your notion that Hillary is blocking for Obama is brilliant. It's only flaw (fatal flaw) being that the people involved--Democrats--are fairly simple. But, shit, wouldn't it be great if it were true.

Then again, maybe it's not a vast left-wing conspiracy. Perhaps Hillary Clinton knows it's over but is simply doing the Barry, the party, and the country a solid by dragging her feet.

Arenas and Laser Show: White Americans are used to seeing black men in arenas. In fact, they are willing to throw down a lot of money to see black men in arenas.

White Americans get all squirrelly when black men show up at their donut shop.

- Rich
No shit, huh? A lot of people will pay top-dollar to see Jay-Z and Kobe Bryant play in an arena. So true. But, if LeBron, sans uniform, shows up at the Unionville, Kansas General Store it's not going to be an autograph session. The proprietor is going to start shoveling the contents of the register over the counter and chanting, "please don't shoot, please don't shoot."

And, I believe you brought this up before, if the Obama campaign were truly brilliant, they would spend some of their vast campaign fortune not on ads this summer, but on running a professionally produced TeeVee sitcom starring Barack, Michelle, and the kids: The O'Bamas. Of course The O'Bamas would be a lot like The Cosby Show. In fact, Michelle Obama does remind me of Felicia Rashad. Barack would play "Barry" an honest, hard-working father of two. He works as the assistant commissioner of the local school board (so coming and going he can wear shirtsleeves and loosened tie). Michelle is a housewife who volunteers at the women's prison (she teaches GED courses). The kids are in public school. The tag line for big canned laughs is, "Oh, Barry!" But when Michelle and Barry are ready to "get it on" Barry turns out the light and Michelle says, "Barry...oh!"

Toward the end of the run, Barry is laid off because the Republicans have cut funding. He decides to run for city counsel -- and wins!

Laura Said Burma: If the United States (Western "powers") have drones that can fly through "hostile" territory to drop bombs on wedding parties, "smart" bombs and guided missiles that can pinpoint homes and schools with remarkable accuracy, why can't the United States (and others) pack up food, water, shelter, medical equipment, etc., fly over the cyclone-ravaged parts of Burma, and parachute the life-saving supplies? Who cares if the Burmese government gets pissed off, deal with that shit later. The U.S. government didn't screw around with diplomacy when planning to invade Iraq, why now?

- Dan
Yeah. Use your powers for good, not evil, right? Remember the mantra popularized by Republican attack dogs during Clinton's presidency, "you can't have it both ways?" Remember that? Sure, the United Sates of America can probably use cruise missiles and aircraft carriers to deliver aid to Myanmar with or without the legal permission of the junta government. Sure we could recalibrate our laser satellites to drop medicine on villages. But, you know what, you liberals didn't want us to use our precious tax dollars to build satellites, missiles, or nuclear-powered aircraft carriers in the first place. I know, I know.... You'll argue that well, since we have it we could use it to do good things. Well our brothers on the right side of the spectrum believe that killing all of Iraq is a good thing. Who decides what is good and what is evil? Who decides when we can ignore international law? Is it when a cyclone kills 100,000 people and destroys the homes of a million more? Or is it when a dictator named Saddam Hussein blows up the World Trade Center? What, should we occupy Myanmar too? We don't even have 5,000 combat troops ready to send to Afghanistan. I know the Burmese situation is horrible, but you can't have it both ways, son.