Middlespace Apparel

Middlespace Apparel
Gear up for summer sale!New for spring/summer 2008

Middlespace Apparel, the corporation that let you tell the world to STOP Having Babies, is proud to present three new slogos® that will prove to be the solution to all your communication enterprise malfunctions.

This season Middlespace answers three basic questions - for you!
  • What would Hitler have thought of us?
  • Was Theodore Kaczynski really that kooky?
  • Where do mopes come from?
Hitler Hates Me

Exactly! C'mon, you're not Germanic, you don't have blond hair or blue eyes. You may even be of mixed-race. You may be Jewish. You might even be a homosexual.

Guh?! Hitler would totally hate on you, weirdo. In fact, it is surprising that on the heels of that wacky WWJD craze no one bothered to ask this basic question: Would Hitler hate me?

So stop questioning my divine authority and buy this beautiful jersey-style 100% cotton declaration of the obvious. $25.


Buy it or else.

Kaczynski Was Right

Bluetooth? XM? Dashboard nav systems? iPhones? The Prius? The interwebs? Broadcast spam telephone dialing? iTunes?

Technology sucks; technology has made you soft.

Listen you sniveling babies, back in The Day people had to drag their own coal to furnace and shovel it into the furnace in order not to freeze to death as child laborers. While starving and suffering with the plague. You ever shovel coal with three fingers missing and gout? And now, what, you're crying over a damn WiFi signal?

Grow up, pansies!

Ted "The Unibomber" Kaczynski was right (and you wrote him off as a nutjob). Technology has turned us into feeble, distracted weaklings who are completely overly-dependent on bleeps and blinks. Let the world know you know what's up.

And after you use your internet and laptop and WiFi signal to buy my shirt, shut that shit down. $25. What's next, Twitter?

It Takes a Mope to Grow a Mope

A young B once asked me, "Daddy, where do mopes come from?" I searched long and hard to come up with a sensible, logical, and eloquent answer for my inquisitive offspring. Well, that answer was only 3,100 miles away in beautiful San Diego, California.

Professor Mark, Ph.D. in social psychology, broke it all down to me in eight simple words.

Duh! Well, break free from your mope lineage and buy this shirt. And remember, Grads & Dads season is around the corner; friends don't let friends be mopes. $25.

Also available from the Middlespace Apparel slogos® line:
STOP Having Babies - $25 - The world wide web sensation
No Change McCain • Status Quo '08 - $25Jeremiah Wright Ain't Wrong - $25I'm A Middlespacer • Get Behind Me & Follow - $25I Get Yelled At By the Guys Who Yell At Businesses - $25I Work Hard for the Leisure - DicountinuedRamp the Insanity! - $15
Flip Flop Floo • Ha Ha! - $15
We Didn't Think Pressing the Record Button Was a Vital Part of the Recording Process - Sold outI Can See Through Knots - $25
Middlespace Apparel is the official apparel division of Middlespace Industries of America - a global conglomerate dedicated to serving you, the buying public. Slogos is a registered trademark of Middlespace Industries of America