Mope Squad America! Just Pick A Side

Oh boy....

You know what I hate? I hate passive-aggressive politicking. You know, like "Rock the Vote" and those wimpy "Yo, Get Out The Vote" campaigns that are all obviously "progressive" if not simply for and of the Democrats. You know the ones, "Hi, I'm Snoop Dogg and, yo yo yo, I just want to say register to vote 'n shit, yo...for whomever you choose...because voting is important n' shit. Yo!"

Blah! For whomever? No! The liberals and the progressives and the Democrats always add that weak "...for whomever" caveat so that they can whine, "We aren't picking sides, man! We just want everyone to vote." No you don't. You actually are picking a side, just like the other side is picking a side: theirs. You want people to vote who will help you WIN.

Do you think that the Republicans are for ONE SECOND going, "Golly, we just want you to register to vote so you can vote for our team or the other team." No! If you're going to vote for the "other guy" (code for black) then they'd rather you not vote. That's why Republicans win, sukkahzzz. The Republicans are the team who came up with, "You're either with us or your with the terrorists."

How do smart and good people become such losers? I mean Republicans lie, cheat, and steal from their own people. They register the poorest Buefords in the county and promise them 37 virgins and a pound of meth (doesn't come in kilos, whew knew?) and, obviously, lower taxes. Then they lie and justify and blame the Democrats about each unfulfilled item time and time again but they keep our Buefords in the winning column time and time again because the people of Traditional Small Town Values are sticking it to the pointy-headed liberals and coloreds and Jews. Each election! U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A!

Kerry? Loser.
Gore? Loser.

Because the stupid losers tell everybody to register and vote. Duh. Here's a campaign freebee:
"Hey people. Ted Hathaway here. If you want more civil rights, a better environment, smarter kids, and the choice to have an abortion or not, register and vote on November 4, 2008.

If you believe that the earth is 6,000 years-old, that humans are direct decedents of Adam and Eve, and that blacks and other immigrants are the cause of all your problems then you can vote too. Your election is on November 11, 2009. Good luck with your teeth."
See? Pick a side and stick to it and play like you want to win, jeez! And lie to the competition. Because it's a competition, stupid. There will be winner and there will be a loser. Haven't you ever watched CBS's Big Brother?

The Republicans rig elections, change laws to disenfranchise voters, and blow up skyscrapers (kidding!). All you morons have done was print lame bumber stickers like "01.20.09" and stuff. No matter what your forth grade soccer coach told you, we're not all winners. You thought Bush was bad?

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