Quit Frontin': Black People Need to Stop Hating on Jews (& vice versa)

Let me riff. Sometimes you hear this from black people when the topic, "Jewish people" arises: "Jews? Humph! Jews are just greedy criminals! They steal everything!" I swear, try it. Go ask five black people about the Jews. I'll wait....

And believe me, there are plenty of ill-informed, thick-skulled, mope-tarded white Americans when it comes to the deal with the Jews too. Go ask any so-called "middle American" in your Midwest or deep south to describe a Jewish person. "Jews? Humph. Jews are non-Christian criminals. They have horns and fangs and they steal everything just like the blacks but without the guns or the malt liquor." Seriously, try it. I'll wait....

?! That's crazy, so let's take crazy whites out of the formula (for now, anyway). Let's talk blacks and Jews.

Well first off, all Americans are pretty fucking greedy, so you can stop using that bullshit as an excuse. You think Michael Jordan or Bill Gates or Bob Johnson aren't greedy? You think that "Shay-Shay" and "Bullet" on the corner "slangin' 'cane" in Baltimore are doing it for the Americorps program? You see Donald Trump volunteering for anything? No, money is The U.S. American Way. Money is capitalism perfected, and greed is its self-fulling prophecy. Thus, greed is the quintessential unifying trait that makes us all "American." Ask some of your prep-school frat-boy friends who were working on Wall Street until just last year. No, seriously, go ask them. They're all working at Panera Bread now. I'll wait....

You want to know why Jewish people are considered to be cliquish and insular, all claiming to be a "tribe" and shit? Because the 5,000-year history of the Jewish people is the history of people being treated like second-class humans, people being enslaved, and people being excluded and persecuted for characteristics they were born into; characteristics completely beyond the control by anybody. And, to over-simplify, being persecuted for practicing elements and traditions of their religion.

Jews have been humiliated, they have been tortured, they have been worked to death, and they have been murdered by the millions. Sound familiar? Just like black people; sold from Africa and into slavery. I'll wait....

Yet blacks and Jews still symbolize one of the widest, most divisive chasm in inter-American relations (second only to the woman/man divide). The irony is substantial, you'd think that the CIA or the OSS had it as an action item in one of their earliest start-up meetings:
"I have a great idea, Pete. We get the Jews and the blacks to hate each other and everything will work out fine for our long-term strategic planning objectives."
It's not a one-way street either. Believe me. Go ask any Jew their opinion of the blacks. 99% will tell you directly and to your face, "Blacks? Humph! Blacks are lazy, under-educated criminals. They steal everything." Try it, it's like a fucking parlor game. I'll wait....

First off, most Americans are pretty fucking under-educated, so you can stop using that bullshit as an excuse as well. I mean, Jesus (no-pun), have you interacted with anyone outside of your hipster, New Urbanist, insular demographic? Ever? Not everybody eats organics or recycles the New York Times or voted for Hussein Obama or drives a crap-ass Prius. Ever talk to the plumber or painter or the housekeeper who you invite into your McMansion? Try it. When your heating/cooling/cleaning folks come over, ask them about Barack Obama or Rush Limbaugh or Afghanistan. Oh, I got it. Ask them about the blacks and the Jews. I'll wait....

In a perfect world, black people and Jewish people should completely--intellectually--identify with the others' experiences. Wasn't the early American deep south and ancient Egypt about 90% analogous? NO one should be tighter than the Jews and the blacks. Really.

The liberal Jews have been the some of the most fervent historic empathizes with black Americans. About half of the civil rights attorneys in the south during the Civil Rights Movement were Jews, but that may be because of the high percentage of Jewish lawyers. Jews were there from start, they helped start the NAACP, and marched in and were beaten in the deep south of the 1960s.

And Kwanzaa is about as clear a replica of Hanukkah as you can get. It's basically the same thing as seeing your successful Jewish mid-life-crisis lawyer neighbor driving his Cadillac Escalade with "mad 24 inch rimz." [His words, I don't type no Ebonics]

As far as I'm concerned, Tyrones & Davids & LeToynieas & Rachels everywhere should just be completely tight. With a little trust and knowledge, we could have a whole planet full of tiny Lenny Kravitzs, Maya Rudolphs, Lisa Bonets, and, Tys. Like, what's more perfect than Black/Jew offspring? BlackJews are all so beautiful, athletic, accomplished, brilliant, talented...and humble. JewBlack is the evolution: Human 2.0.

Not to be harsh but a lot of black people could use a half-way decent education in the deal with the Jews and Judaism. I would say vice versa but the Jews are pretty well-educated in the deal with regard to the blacks, in general. Jews may not trust the blacks but they generally understand the context (although "streetwise" means something very different to each group).

Blacks are sometimes too taken-in by stereotypes and superstitions. Unfortunately, blacks have been, economically, subjected to situations where some Jews have been able to take economic advantage. As you know, every stereotype contains a grain of truth.

Quit frontin' on Jewish people. Let's get along like Rodney King said.