S-s-s-something from the Emailings

"I had a dream about you last night. You were working at an arts & crafts store. I was waiting for the store to open...not knowing that you worked there...then we talked talked and talked some more. Then you asked me if I'd like to go to a softball (baseball; not really sure which one) game and of course I obliged and then you asked me to come over for dinner, then my mom called and said that she was not feeling well and I needed to come and check on her. Your hair was an afro, and you had a toothpick in your mouth...after that it's a little fuzzy.

Then I woke up but went right back to dreaming (with you still in the dream) I just can't remember anymore. WOW! Please advise."


Your dreaming cousin, C.

This interesting note was sent to me by my "little cousin," C, whom I haven't seen in many, many years. I believe she was at my grandmother's funeral, but my memories from that event are very specific and fuzzy; a whirlwind of emotions and activity. I remember sitting between my grandmother's surviving sisters to offer comfort, having a big fight with my father, and my little half-brother being very sad and bolting from the service. That was almost 17 years ago. But it feels like yesterday.

My "little cousin" will be 38 in March...something like that. But she's still my little cousin. I remember her well. Her mother, her brother, her grandmother. It's all there.

One of the lasting memories of my "little cousin" was everybody freaking ass when it appeared that she polished off the remainder of a bottle of Clorox bleach, but that turned out to be a false emergency. I was around 8 then, so she must have been around 2 years-old. That was around the time when I shattered my arm in a bicycling accident. It was C's mom who first assisted me and drove us in her Monte Carlo to the hospital.

Family. I know I give short shrift to my family, but I do believe in family and that family plays a very important and significant role in all of our lives; good, bad, and indifferent. Family defines us.

I am a very lucky man. I am fortunate that I have persistent family members who still keep me within reach. They go out of their way to know where I am and how I'm doing. I've always been the difficult one. Not trouble or anything, but somewhat distant and always out and about, following my own path in the world. I've always been curious about the world and eagerly pursuant of all it offers. I do appreciate their efforts. My cousin, T. My cousin, C. My birth mother. My half-brother. All my friends. Yes, I do appreciate all you do. Thanks.

So what does C's dream mean? It means I have family. It means that she has family. It means that her "big cousin" is out there somewhere. It means that I have people--blood relatives--who still feel me, believe in me, and still maintain a connection to me. We are all connected.

And that's wonderful. Dreams are wonderful. Life is wonderful.