Wednesday

Mope Squad America! Respect!

Just so you know Mope Squad! will probably disappear at about the time we elect the 44th white president of the United States of America. You know the one. That one: Brock "Barry" O'Baughmaugh. C'mon, what were you thinking?

Oh I see, when I alluded to "White President" you assumed I meant Senator McCain of Arizona (R), right? No, the other white one. You forgot Barry was white? Well you will get reacquainted with that fact in the next week and a half. Pssssst. Barry's white!

And, believe me, I hurt for Barry, don't get me wrong. I know the pain of the dying grandmother who raised you. I know the loneliness of the separation of thousands of miles during this emotional time. I totally know. March 12, 1993. That's when my grandmother who raised me died. It's sad. It's wrenching. It's...mom. And for Barry, it's mom again. What is it with this Barack Obama Brock O'Baughmaugh? I totally get him. If I were smart and handsome and ambitious, I'd be Barack Obama.

Barry's grandmother who is ill right now (and sincerely bless her heart) is his white grandmother, Mrs. Madelyn Dunham. The widow of Stanley Dunham. Madelyn and Stanley Dunham of Honolulu, Hawaii, U.S. America. Let me pull up a photo because you will see that Barry looks exactly like Stanley. Hold on.... Here it is (the same photo all over the news):


Yes the Dunhams are pretty middle-America white for sure. And look at Stanley's face above. Nope! Barry ain't adopted. That's for certain. Look again (at this one in all the news too):

The Dunhams aren't radical Muslim terrorist socialist coloreds. They are America's America. And god bless them too. They are the greatest generation. Says in the wiki that Stanley Dunham was a fourth cousin, twice removed, of President Harry S. Truman. Stanley was also a seventh cousin, once removed, of Vice-President Dick Cheney. Hello?

So yeah, I'm sorry that Mrs. Dunham is sick. Breaks all of my heart. And good for Brock to visit. That's simple love and respect. She raised him. It's his duty to tell her how much he loves her. I don't know how ill she is but I hope she--first and foremost--lives to see her grandson, Barack Brock "Barry" O'Baughmaugh Obama become the fucking president of the United Sates.

You know what? Fuck you, GOP! He's totally and safely white. Get over yourselves. Country Bumpkins First.