Sometime You Just Have To Be the Light

[cue Log In Today, the album and put some headphones on]

Living is a miraculous thing. I realize that. For all my curmudgeon-like opinions I hold and express--in the name of social observation and tr00f-mobbing--I am happy to be alive. Goddamn ecstatic! I don't take living or thinking or saying or being for granted. Nobody should, in my opinion. Good things, all.

But sometimes, through no direct actions of their own, a person is painted into a corner and has to sissy-strap on the dunce cap of thought and ponder. Including me. I mean, shoes drop, dominoes fall, and mirrors present themselves.

What do I mean? Illness and death. People around me (not immediate family, thank you) are battling illness and are dying. Well, you know me, I'm all:

Dying® The World's Most Natural Thing™
certified organic

I don't fear or deny death. I don't want to die anytime soon, but I know it's there. But...wow, shit does happen, right?

Interestingly, I just had a discussion with Rickey Powell (Berkeley) and Philly Boy Gabe about how we can disassociate ourselves from +1º separation death and illness; not our problems. Some aunt you didn't know? Some co-worker from the 3rd floor? It's too bad and all, but I'm still gonna watch Parks & Rec tonight.

But illness and death are not without consequence sometimes. Particularly when those you know dearly are affected. Either through their own illness or by association.

For me the greatest difficulty is in watching others suffer. Looking into their eyes and seeing The Fear is one hell of a trip. Seeing strong, confident, daring friends reduced pools of sadness and fright is heart-wrenching.

But as I told the boys in Brooklyn, I am lucky to have the ability and time and space to not absorb the fear but to shine light back to friends and loved-ones.
The the dead: I will remember you.

To the ill: I am here.
Sometimes you just have to be the light.