Checking Head: Mirror-Mirror

Today I received a mid-year check-in from a great friend who declared this past spring to have been his best ever. And even though he forecasts the summer to be likewise, he clearly noted some bitter has and will overlap with his sweet. Mirror-mirror.

I also received a simple emailing question from a wonderful friend, "Where's your head?" Good question given the variety and surprises of the year so far. Mirror-mirror.

AND, I've become re-acquainted with a terrific friend from high school. She is helping me fill in the lost middlespaces and reminding me that the trip thus far has been fulfilling, heartbreaking, and totally under the command of self as influenced by others. Mirror-mirror.

Indeed these interactions land me square into a field of personal reflection: Mirror-mirror on the wall/will I stand or will I fall?

Where IS my head?

It seems already that the two big surprises this year have been my TGA and the federal criminal jury trial. Both can be topped in surprise and scope. But they stand front and center as this year's experiences.

I have to ask if I'm a better person for having experienced these things? Sure...yes. Yes! I am healthier than ever and have experienced new and very interesting things. I feel good to have both under my proverbial belt.


Has it been the greatest year so far for me? Dunno. Maybe it has.

But there is bitter (peanut butter) in my sweet (chocolate) too. Past, present, and future, who knows what lies ahead. That's our context: the highs and the lows. It's how we are shaped and, most importantly, situations and contexts are the pieces we use to shape ourselves.

I don't think I'm prepared to declare "greatest" yet. I'm certain things can always be better, and for sure things could always be worse. Lotto winners rarely find the happiness they believed would unfold before them. Same with elective plastic surgery recipients I suppose.

Maybe the greatest takeaway for this first half of 2009 is better friendships, a better satisfaction with my work and productivity, and a better feel for how I can make things happen: facilitation, nudge, support, and manipulation. Life is social psychology.

Mostly, and as always, I just don't know.

Maybe there is a creeping satisfaction that there is a tank half-full. Maybe the capacity isn't limited.

There is relief in knowledge.