Ask Ty...July 7 [The Dyslexia Question]

It must be Tuesday Wednesday, Middlespace Cadets, because I'm answering your questions
Q: Dear Captain Julius TGA,

Here's one for you. Is it possible to become dyslexic as an adult? I feel like as I've gotten older I can't help but type words with letters in the wrong order, and read numbers with digits out of place...


-Phiyll Byo Gaeb
Ty: Good question and an even better observation, PBG. We exist in an age where we constantly monitor ourselves and simultaneously question every nuance of our existence. Not only do the collective we post every thought online via the Twitter, Facebook, and Friendster but what we mostly post are usually irritating, whiny, and overly self-important questions about ourselves. You know, the stuff 99% people post are the same things that people would have written in a very lonely diary a quarter-century ago then burned as they realized that they are whiny and irritating:
  • Am I losing my hair?
  • Does she like me?
  • Why does it hurt when I pee?
  • Is it possible to become dyslexic as an adult?
  • Does anyone notice the comb-over?
  • What does homicide feel like?
  • Am I gay?
And it's like 99% rhetorical because nobody wants to hear the answers to the questions they pose. Not to say your question, PBG, isn't important and generalizable to the rest of the interweb using population--given the productivity and safety implications inherent ("nobody's answering at 1-9-9!!")--you know what I'm talking about, right Chief? So I'm going to answer your question, PGB.

[15 minutes later -- I got distracted started looking for interweb photos of my second car the 1980 Volkswagen Dasher wagon]

I don't think it's as much age or late-onset dyslexia. I believe your issue to be an interweb attention dysfunction syndrome intersecting with a lowering of standards brought on by txting, IMing, and other thumb-typing-device utilization.

We multi-task to the point of meltdown (hello TGA!).

[An additional 7 minutes elapse while I search my archives to see if I ever wrote about ADD]


[Add 10 additional minutes--I wanted to see if anything's new on LeBron James]

It's the interweb's fault because I can sit here typing out the sentence that's already complete in my head whilst I visit Wired for just one moment, then Salon, The Hill, the Los Angeles Times, New York Times, Wooster Collective, Vice, Street Carnage, Front Street, BSD 365, Rock, Poem, Photo, Otter Meat, Tao, Psychic Tremors, Whirligig, the Post, MMOB, The Last Psychiatrist, ESPN, Achewood....

[Ended up wandering around outside putting up a new patio umbrella and got stung in the neck by a fucking wasp then spent the next half-hour icing neck, monitoring signs of impending death because if you Google® "wasp sting" you KNOW that you're just minutes from anaphylaxis and death, and spraying neurotoxic aerosol at anything flying in a quarter-mile radius because revenge is a bitch]

Anyway, PBG, it's the fault of technology where --> :{) <-- has replaced real emotions and experiences (like walking on the beach while holding hands and candlelit meals) and dumbed-down abbreviations replace the structure of the sentence. lulz, ftw, omg!

Even I get lazy as the Negro Stereotype and convince myself it is more efficient to not use the shift key to make a capital letter. I actually do try to not wrt 2 u lke ths bc u wood gt so fn anoyd ud kl m.

[What?! Ringo Starr is 70? WTF?]

You aren't dyslexic or are becoming dyslexic, PBG. You are addicted to technology and u r lzy az fk, el oh. You're mostly just distracted and aren't paying tattentionto what your;re doing and are too hyper multitasking that you don's stope to eddit.

You are lazzy America and wil being take over by the China in the nearr future you America pig when you watcheng the facebooks!

[Hey, I'm back! Had to get some cereal, answer a txt and an emailing, and wander about some more.]

What were we discussing? Oh yeah, it's the fault of the drugs, the oil, the heat, the liberals, all teenagers, and the immigrants.

Just a guess,