Quit Frontin': You Need To Stop Assuming We Have the Impact of Obama's Presidency Figured Out - Here's Why

I accidentally stumbled across this essay today. Coincidentally I found it whilst I was still thinking and thinking about what my friend Cassady's questions [here]. Questions that I didn't as much answer as throw open for discussion. I got lazy. You know us blacks....

I think we're too impatient in waiting for the Magic Negro to make everything all better when we don't even have the impact of his election figured.

Remember the day after? November 5, 2008. After all that breath-holding followed by intense partying? Remember the collective, "what the fuck do we talk about now?" I remember that (mostly because it was only eight months ago and I ain't got Alzheimer's yet). The Great Election of 2008 was over, it was a blowout and there were no controversies to fight over. There we all sat, on our asses, all hoarse from the "Yes We Did!" chanting. All that effort and all that good will and all that anticipation of shit that would go wrong on election day and inauguration day (and all those emails from the Obama campaign) and.... What now?

And sure the Inauguration was beautiful and unprecedented in its scope. We all high-fived and cried and clenched ass cheeks until he got his ass back in the limo and shit. We died a little when John Roberts tried to trick Barry's Muslim/socialist ass into flubbing the oath. But, again, we had to ask ourselves, what do we know? I keep hearing about what it all now "means." I've herd the term "sea change" like a million times. Every white liberal, no, everybody seems to have this shit figured out. The liberals say it's a Revelation. The conservatives say it's a Travesty. Really? Five months in and we have it figured, huh? Ignore the birthers for a minute since they are fucking crazy as hell but here's what I know:

First, before anything, please people, please, please, please stop using the term Post-Racial. All of you. It makes absolutely no sense and it only annoys the fuck out of EVERYbody. Barack is half-Kenyan half-Kansan. So what? He looks like a black and racists still call him "nigger." Post-racial? I don't think so. I'm a half-black Jew and I'm what? I'm not post-racial, am I? I'm very racial. I'm more pre-racialist if anything. Race is still everything. Just because Corey Booker, Adrian Fenty, Devon Patrick, and Barack Obama won an election does not mean we are post-shit. Last I checked all them niggas were niggas and everybody still calls them niggas and will call them niggas in perpetuity. You never hear about Governor Patrick as anything but the "Black Governor of Massachusetts."

There is no such Santa Easter Bunny Tooth Fairy as "post-racial." I argue we are now more racial than less because we are now more overtly aware of our collective and individual nuances. As long as we have colors and hues and specific characteristics of the races, we will never, ever become post-racial. That's stupid liberal, Kum Ba Yah, head-in-the-sand, defeatist thinking. People just happen to be choosing smart, young, forward-thinking leaders who happen to be black. It's a trend that surely will end though. It's definitely not a Black Thing.

Also, do not assume that we will have another black president in our lifetime. How much have I had to endure hearing about how Barack's election opens some kind of asylum of black presidential candidates.
Barack Haters: Rest assured that Barack was probably an exception and Pac Man Jones and Michael Vick won't be running as a team in 2012. Grow up. Shut up.

Barack Lovers: Get over yourselves and quit saying asinine shit like, "once you go black, you never go back." What? Barack's now fucking America? That's crazy low-intelligence shit, people. Bush fucked America but we were drunk and passed out from the 9/11 roofies he sipped in our cocktails.
Barack seems like a great dude and all and the next great dude, probability speaking, will probably not just happen to be black. Them's the odds. Likewise, as the great pendulum just swung from conservative to liberal, expect that shit to swing back at some point in our lives. Whoosh! Even the best case is we'll have a string of boring, moderate, media-savvy Mitt Romney types before we have another black president. You betcha, Sarah! You still "in it to win it," Hillary?

White people can now go back to like it was before the election. You can now stop making eye contact with me and every other black person you encounter in some sort of fake ass solidarity. We were Americans before the election and we are still Americans (unless you're a black Ivy League professor going into his home). Why weren't you making eye contact before, huh? We heard. We know: Obama won. The sheriff's a nigger. Of course it's cool with us, though, that's obvious. And thanks for voting too, but stop looking my way like I care about NPR. You can stop acting like it's the first day of college orientation.

And black people? You can still keep making eye contact with me because look at the fuck what we just got! Are you dreaming? Because I must be dreaming because Holmes is in the 'Hizzie...he's like us, yo. But I'll pretty much be over you looking my way for eye contact pretty soon as well.
You know what? It is OK to criticize Barack the Mighty Black Magic President too. We do not have to justify every move he makes like because he did it, it's the right thing. He's not nor is he going to be perfect. So quit treating him like he's Jesus. Look what happened to Bush once he got inside the bubble of yes. Barack needs the exact opposite. Every liberal, moderate, and conservative needs to hold Barack and all of government accountable as hell. We forgot to keep a watch out on that shit and we almost wrecked the American motorcycle because we got lazy with hubris and started pulling wheelies and shit without wearing a helmet. And look at us now. We have John Roberts. A monster recession. Afghanistan? Looking like the next Vietnam to me. We just don't know how this will play out so let's keep it real.
And look at the GOP. First McCain then Palin got all Hope 'N Changey on us because they had nothing else; so they copied Barack Co. (who copied Clinton '92 and Kennedy '60). Now the Grand Old Party has their own Homie, as chairman. But, just because Michael Stephen Steel is the first black GOP Chairman does not translate into the GOP giving a shit about our black asses. Mark my words. The GOP still only has one true love: moneypower.

We do not have this figured out. Quit trying so hard so early. Take your ADD meds, alright?
Quit frontin'.