Monday

Ask Ty...April 27 [The Iceberg Question]

It must be Tuesday Monday, Middlespace Cadets, because I'm answering your questions

Q: Dear Ty,
So who comes closest to knowing the whole of you?

Sincerely,

Famous actress in NYC

Ty: Good question and an even better observation, FANYC. This simple 10-word question, while directed toward me, becomes the question of a lifetime. Who knows what about whom? Nobody, that's who.

The question "who comes closest to knowing the whole of you" is deeply profound because no one can truly know the whole of anyone else. NO ONE! And you're a delusional liar if in your belief structure you are somehow naive enough to believe you know the whole of anyone. Because everyone has roles, acts, and characters. Some more than others. Everyone has a selective history. Some more than others. But no one is "one" person. No one knows no "one" person. As with the truth, there is no absolute. It's just something--difficult as it is--we're better off just accepting. And I'm just happy to take the little I'm able to eek out of some people. It's a zen thing.

What we know of each person is the iceberg tip we observe or interact with to varying degrees at any given time. For example, I only know Brad Pitt from what I've seen in the movies. But I feel I know him. His wife knows him much better than I do. She makes him take out the smelly garbage. I only look on from the kitchen window. But my child? I've seen her nearly every day of her life. I know her quite well. But you know what? She's in first grade and has a robust social scene all to her own that I am not welcome in. Fact is MFin' fact.
See: Unrepentant from January, 2006 [clicky]
You see, we don't swear in front of our children (generally) and we aren't skirt hounds with our mothers (generally). We have specific behaviors for specific occasions and needs; situations are powerful determinants of behaviors. Even I don't smart off (much) around the police or old ladies, for instance. Do not underestimate the power of the situation.

We have work lives, hobbies, kinks, nutty desires, and everything else.

And now that we're all into the Web logging, Twittering, Facebooking, Flickring, and other fake ass online lives, compartmentalization is an extraordinarily big business. Who are we, anyway? Who are we, anymore? We are what we want/need to be for whom we need/want to be. Huh?!

"Facebook used to be kids trying to bang each other. Now it's young mothers pretending they're not miserable. Metaphor for internet?"

- Otterfarm on Twitter <-- Otterfarm is a registered trademark character of Rickey Powell

Metaphor for Internet? Sure. Metaphor for modern life? Absolutely. See? Psych 101.

It's not just the 55 year-old creep posing as 15 year-old girl for other Internet pervs. Artists and poets have now developed online characters for Web logs and a variety of social networks. There are even specific, well-developed characters exclusively for the comment sections of specific web logs.

Shit, everybody has a handle, screen name, and avatar (avatars are so retarded though) since the CB radio days.

But to your question,
FANYC, who knows the whole of me? Me. That's who. And just barely. Everyone else gets their piece. But nobody gets the whole. And this goes for everyone else in the whole world.

Just a guess,

-ty

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Ask Ty... Archive: [clicky]
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