Hey Look At This MOPE!

Ha! I'm such a Dork!
Look at me on the TeeVee news, all crazy-eyed and unkempt.
[clicky here]

[because their embed code is even buggier than the above image - so, sorry about the ad]
And for the rest of Paul Harvey...

So I'm walking home from Starbucks because I had a hot flash for a short cap (yes, they have a short cappuccino and it's a perfect mix of foam and espresso - trust me) before I picked up the B from school and I saw some cameraman and I think to myself, 'eh, I gotta get out of here before he asks me something stupid.' Eh! Lo and behold he calls me over and almost begs me to help. Now, normally I don't do things like this but I felt especially gracious today. Dunno, maybe it's the weather. He asks me if I lived here (was it because I was black?) and if I'd noticed if some of the businesses had closed. C'mon? What? Really? Like, what? I haven't thought about this like my whole entire life?
Ghosts of the New America [clicky]
So I told him that I normally don't do things like that but -- looking around and there were absolutely NO people around -- I gave them their perfect soundbites for their lightweight human interest story. See? I'm not such a jerk after all (or as Berkelee Carroll wrote, "JERKES").

Whaaaaaaa, trouble in paradise. Bwaaaaaaaa, my "prestigious neighborhood" cannot escape the great depression of 2008/2009. Shut the fuck up, Chico! Who cares? And, by the way, how fucking sketchy do I look in this video? Looks like I've been stealing from this prestigious neighborhood. I should've left the shades on, for sure, or offered to sell reporter Bruce Leshan some crack or something. And, hell if I don't have the world's worst voice. I mean I already know this but what the fuck? I sound like a middle-aged woman with a tracheotomy.

I could have been my normal fucked-up self and said retarded shit like, "Me? I like that the businesses are closed. I'm anti-social and hate when people are around." But....

Oh. When we finished...he said I was "articulate" (was it because I was black?).

Lastly, remember this before you disown me: this too is art. Doy!