Ask Ty...May 19 [The Rand Paul Question]

It must be Tuesday Wednesday, Middlespace Cadets, because I'm answering your questions
Q: Dear Ty,

Why am I so happy that Rand Paul won?


Socialist Liberal Elitist

P.S.- Fuck Arlen Specter.

Ty: Good question and an even better observation, SLE. Rand Paul the kooky son of the kooky father. Real Americans. Tea Baggers. Opportunists. Grifters taking advantage of rubes in Kentucky? Who cares? I don't. Don't they still worship sticks in Kentucky? Are they even still a member of the union? John "Cheater" Calipari could win the presidency in Kentucky.

The "media" is running all 120 pt. headlines like the space shuttle fell out of the sky and killed the Brad Pitt in Iraq and Sarah Palin popped out and said, "boy howdy!" I think the hyperbole about the "indictment" on "America" by the "Tea Baggers" is a bit much and a bit premature. It's...Kentucky and they have scared rubes in it. And it's an "indictment" on the "GOP" if anything. Shit, we're still socialists and Nazis, SLE. Nothing changed yesterday except now I know what Rand Paul looks like. He has an afro, right?

And the "indictment" on the "incumbents" vis-à-vis Arlen "Turncoat" Specter's primary defeat. Who cares? Hell, I could've run against Specter on the I'm-not-him platform exclusively and won. People, there's nothing shocking about either of these primary results.

You are so happy about this, SLE, because it's the actual people taking the actual reigns of politics, so say the Tea Baggers. And it's just funny. It's a ding on the Republicans and it's a ding on the Democrats. It's a ding on incumbents. It's a double-ding who actually cares and it doesn't matter Tuesday in May when LOST is on yawn! Fuck Arlen Specter. Here's how I remember Arlen Specter...I take you back to October 1991: [clicky]. Thanks Arlen Specter.

But I do fear that the political tides are changing a bit. I scared that we will lose our big government socialist way. And why do I fear that we will lose our big government socialist way? Because I personally want the federal government to immediately start this program here: [clicky] & [clicky].

What?! Yes, a federal dogshit DNA program trumps, TSA, NSA, CIA, and NASA to me. Fines, prison, and execution awaits. You cannot hide from the U.S. Department of Dogshit Forensics (DDF). All hail socialism, comrade!

Just a guess,