You Are Not An Artist - 13

but fortune 600 presents is

You Are Not An Artist - 12

I have some good news and I have some bad news. What do you want first? Bad? Everybody picks the bad news first. Why are people so weak?

The bad news is that you are not an artist. I know, the truth fucking hertz.

The good news ("& thank god too" - RPW) is that Tommy Hoppe is an artist: [clicky]

Download Tommy Hoppe Theory as a .pdf here ----> • <---- dessim="" div="" er="" ereh="" fi="" ti="" uoy="">

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YANAA archive: [clicky]

You Are Not An Artist - 11 (it's Wednesday!)

YOU are not an artist because, to be quite frank, there are simply just people more creative and talented and motivated than you. That's tough love, huh?

So here goes. Get your headphones and block out a half hour:

http://thru-you.com/

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YANAA archive: [clicky]

You Are Not An Artist - 10

YOU are not an artist because this piece didn't seep from YOUR brain, through YOUR fingers, onto the typing keys on YOUR laptop, and up onto YOUR interwebs. But The FoOl made it happen:

Mahmoud's Christmas Carol: A Special Short Story Feature (written 2001)

"Here Lies Mahmoud Haddad
Seeker of the American Dream
A True Son of God"

The FoOl brings the hurt with Canadian style. If you have a short attention span (SAP), just pretend it's not there. But if you can read, click it [clicky]!
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YANAA archive: [clicky]

You Are Not An Artist - 9

Here's the deal and I say so:

Ignore the marketing and read the strip: [clicky]

Thank you, Chris.
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YANAA archive: [clicky]

You Are Not An Artist - 8

Because Benji beat you to that punch.

Say's Benji:

"It's...crucial to find time to make work. Try to structure your life in ways that give you the opportunity to pursue art, because it's very rare that the opportunity to make art will just fall into your lap. Everybody assumes that you are going to go to work at some point of the day. No one assumes you will make art. You have to make that a priority."

Indeed a high priority. Indeed. Directly to my Biggest Fear, "the opportunity to make art will just fall into your lap." Which explains both my obsession and my output. I'm so frightened that that window will just close up.

Benji Whalen [clicky]

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YANAA archive: [clicky]

You Are Not An Artist - 7

Because....

He is:

[clicky]

You = Fail
because you are the wave, not the water

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YANAA archive: [clicky]

You Are Not An Artist - 6

Yes, that chair is taken:

Headphones on, [clicky] image to play it:


Late 90s Velvet Lounge days of all-improv and borrowed drums from the French Mistake and stuff.

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YANAA archive: [clicky]

You Are Not An Artist - 5

You are not an artist. You wanna know why?

This is why. Take a look at this art:

[clicky]

And it must be art because she's not even a Mulatto.

Trust me? Represent!

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YANAA archive: [clicky]

You Are Not An Artist - 4

So yesterday I read this New York magazine piece about Malcolm Gladwell. Oh, Malcolm, Malcolm. Interesting dude for sure. And I know, I have harshed on Malcom Gladwell in the past but he's still fascinating. Smarter than you. Cooler than you. Deeper than you. And just when you thought you had him pegged as some sort of "journalist" you come and realize that not only is Malcolm Gladwell a brilliant ass artist, but he's better at his art than you are at yours. So once again you are a loser like John F. Kerry. Anyway, Malcolm's skin is thicker than he lets on so I do him no harm nor would I.

And, yes, in case you wondered--aloud or in the privacy of your prayers--I do in fact ponder Mullato-ism a great deal. [Ed. note: And by "Mullatoes" I mean the select and chosen people who are smarter than you and who are better process/context artists than you] And, In case you wondered; the answer is "yes." Yes there is a reason directly associated with this rhyme. "This is called the 'Greatest Story Ever Told'."

Anyway, Malcolm's next book is about outliers. In this case, human outliers out past the positive end of the bell. I don't suppose he's writing about sociopaths this time. I understand the piece to be about people who are either incredible at what they do or who do incredible things. He's all about how and why this happens. He even offers suggestions about how to balance fields and equalize opportunities. Blah-blah-blah.

People with read his book and have thoughts and opinions about his writing, his topics and samples, his approach to methods, and his balance on a given topic. People will agree and they will disagree. But what you suckers don't get is that Malcolm, as my daughter would say, "made you look." Malcolm made you and you and you and you do three things you hadn't planned to do:

• He made you read something
• Made you think about something
  
• Made you form your own damn opinion about something
  

And that is why you are not an artist. Because those jobs are scare, the gigs are taken, and the wait list for those positions is fucking hella long. It's like trying to get a principle percussionist position in a major symphony or tickets to High School Musical Live or some shit.

Malcolm Gladwell makes how you view the world just seem janky as hell, doesn't it? You know it does.

Art-Intelligence? Represent!

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YANAA archive: [clicky]

You Are Not An Artist - 3

So this is my experience. I like Ben Harper's music. What can I say? Mullatoes stick together, righrt? Mullatoes from Claremont are bound though. But I don't really care for the ballad-y stuff and his last few records have been pretty much not my bag. Big deal. He does his thing. I do mine. He's still more talented than you'll ever be in your nine lives.

But I heard this morning that Ben Harper is playing with a new configuration and is calling it:

Relentless 7

So?

So, l'il Benny might be bringing the shit back, yuns! L'il Benny might be bringing it back "for real" and "for damn sure." And from what I heard it's a rock band. Which, for me, is perfect since I've always liked the rock side anyhow ("Serve Your Soul," and the first side of Live From Mars, "Faded," "The Will to Live," "Voodoo Chile," etc.) . I could go on and analyze and ponder but why? No justification needed.

I'm just sayin'. The web site is just sayin': [clicky]

I'm way more Dean Butterworth than I'll ever be Jack Johnson. [Ed. note: R7 also wins best website ever award]

91711? Represent!

You Are Not An Artist - 2

FreeDarko presents... The Macrophenomenal Pro Basketball Almanac

[clicky]

Not only is this high art, but it very well may single-handedly get me back into the NBA.

Hoops? Represent!

You Are Not An Artist - 1

Sorry. You are not an artist. Be glad that I'm here to break the news to you because I am going to be brutally honest with you; that you're definitely not an artist. But I'm also going to let you down easy because I'm a huge softy and I do appreciate your effort. You get an "A" for the effort, as they say. You just weren't genetically predisposed to be an artist, sorry. Oh, keep doing what you're doing and maybe you can win some online contest or make some sales at the craft faire.

But you're not an artist. That's how it goes, I guess.

You are not an artist because you do not think like an artist. You do not believe in art. Sure you think of making shit and doing shit--and you even get some shit made--but you will not be an artist until you can conceive art. You rule with the technique and the equipment. Some of your stuff is really good too. But you have no concept.

I've known like a million photographers, musicians, painters, filmmakers, illustrators, and the like. But, artists? I've known maybe three in my whole life. And that third hasn't really produced much at all. But that third is one of the greatest artistic minds I've ever known. It's not all about output, kids. I'll even leave me on the not-an-artist list so you don't give me totally grief about this. OK, I'm not an artist either. That make you feel better? Well, just kidding about me, obviously because I think I'm starting to figure it all out. Starting.

So I am absolutely struck by what Robin Hewlett and Ben Kinsley did. Impressed even. [What did they do? Tell me, Ty! What did they do?]

They did this: [clicky]

First go here: [clicky] Then do the whole Google Street View act. Huh?

Next go here: [clicky]

Then here: [clicky]

Here: [clicky]

And back to here: [clicky]

There you have it ("That's show business, folks!" - RPW, 1999). Art!

And you've thought of and done, what?, you fake-ass wannabe artist. Maybe you can sell some of your stuff on eBay or something. I'm sure your mom is proud.

Concept? Represent!