Unemployment Diary - Field Trip

A) So, I'm at a point where my kid's the oldest in the class. What that means is the moms of the new/young kids are either excited to go or feel obligated to go on field trips.

Me, I just have plenty of time.

So, today they had a field trip. School bus, downtown, with a class from another school, etc. A great trip. You could cut the excitement with a Wiffle ball bat.

But, I had to answer this question just one too many times: "So, what do you do?" Ah, DC... Where "What do you do" is as common a phrase as "bless you" is after a sneeze in Vatican City. What do I do? What don't I do?

"Nothing." I like to say "nothing" and see where the conversation goes. Could go philosophical, " the scheme of things, we individually do nothing; it's our collective efforts that count." Could go jokey, ""...and I'm not breathing either; told you I did nothing."

Then after a pause, the recast (because I must not have heard correctly or am retarded), "Where do you work?" "Nowhere." The kid pipes in on cue, "you work from home in your office with your computers and your cameras and your guitars and your pictures."

[Thanks, babe. Here's a fiver, go make yourself nutty on the candy. Pick a college, any college, and I'll pay for it. Her timing is excellent.]

"So, are you an ARTIST?!" College women and young moms must just LOVE the artists, especially in this god forsaken town. Lawyer? Yawn. Lobbyist? ZZZZZ? Work on "the hill?" Next.

"Artist?! I guess you could say that. But, here, I'm a dad."

B) I think I'm done with all the household stuff that I was going to do to keep busy for the summer. That took, what, two days? Maybe I can be that guy with "the garden." You know, the kook (like that wouldn't work). Yeah, gardening. Think more Zen than wildflower. OK, into the garden...

C) Did I mention I cleaned my guitar yesterday? My Mexicano Fendero with the Danitized pick-ups? New strings, shiny quick body. I'm Keith Fucking Richards now. Speaking of Keith Fucking Richards, I just read this yesterday: clicky, chaps! Gotta just love on the Keith Fucking Richards (in fact, listening to outro of "Can't You Hear Me Knocking" on Sticky Fingers right now - oh, just into "You Gotta Move). That guitar sound pretty good and plays like a big dog too.

D) Oh, holy shit, almost forgot. No coffee today. Last cup was yesterday morning. I've embarked on a 'quick-wean' (trademark of the middlespace corporation) of all unnecessary junk from the old temple. Plus, lots of liquids, balance of vitamins, low caloric intake, and simple mind/body exercises and I got your 41.5 years right here! No. I'm not in a cult nor am I going hungry. Yes, I will drink coffee again and alcohol too. It's just a spring clean for the May queen. Sleep, too, is brilliant.

E) Teas, my friends, is the path to the kingdom. And, the arts are the key to the castle.