My New Jacket

[note: I suppose it's officially blogging when you're (oh, shit, "I'm") writing about a fucking jacket, somebody please kill me]

Just purchased a new jacket. Ostensibly it's a snowboarding jacket. But, I'm not planning to go out boarding any time soon – those days are a little bit behind me, but I might, you never know. I just thought it looked good (light brown herringbone), fit well, and I liked the sherpa fleece lining (as opposed to, say, polyester "fleece") - it's like hugging a lamb...

I fully believe that my new jacket will keep me dry and warm, it has a good hood (a fulltime Contour™ hood even). I was looking for an alternative to lugging an umbrella around everywhere I go and as Rich saw in SF; I was desperately in need of “gear.” This very nice jacket has channels for headphone wiring too. Thermacore insulation, taped seams, Storm-lite (r) shell, and Mesh-lined Pit Zips™ are a bonus. This is fairly serious jacket. By an important snow gear manufacturer – on that’s been around for a long time. Kind of the old, wise, experienced guy gear manufacturer. You know...expensive and such, but you get what you pay for in this case. It’s not for the snow kiddies.

You see, I’m old and can go out and purchase a fairly serious jacket from time to time. It’s not like I’m a clotheshorse (or clothes-whore or anything). I’ll probably never fully utilize the Tear-Open Goggle Pocket even.

Anyway, the point is, I get back to my office and I'm reading the book and I discover the model is called "Party Jacket." OK, hadn't noticed that. Reading further, I note that this jacket actually somehow “BUILT TO RAGE.” Here’s the text from the feature list page:

“Whether you're raging the mountain or killing brain cells with your bros, the Party jacket puts a new spin on style. The pinstriped herringbone fabric offers insane strength, waterproofing and breathability to keep you warm and dry. We also packed the Party with all the critical features -- dual 40 oz. pockets, a Stash Pocket™ and of course, the 420 pocket.”

Uh, OK. Note: I really like that 1) the Stash Pocket is a trademark of Burton, 2) they write, "of course" with regard to the 420 pocket, and 2) my new jacket has pockets for not one 40 oz bottle of malt liquor, it has the capacity for two bottles of malt liquor. 420 stash and 80 oz of malted liquor. Oh my damn!

So I look around my new jacket no fucking foolin’, there's this clever inner, inner pocket and in this inner, inner pocket is a little zip-lock plastic pouch (about the size of an old lady's change purse). Oh my! No kidding around with my new very serious jacket.

So, I suppose I’ll maintain my waning street cred by wearing my new jacket around although I’m a bit partied out by just looking at it on my coat rack in my office.

Rage on! Crunk by lunch.