S-S-S-Something From the Comments (the great middlespace t-shirt challenge)

[w/apologies & credit to Zefrank]

Oh Face! writes:

"I'd gladly where some Mope garb, but the two choices suck donkey shlong. Come on man, for someone as creative as you are, this is what you offer us?"

- From "New Middlespace T-Shirts" post [clicky]

I guess I'm kind of torn here, thus a response. On one hand I'm happy you'd "where" some of the products of my mind. That's cool. On the other hand, I feel saddened that I have to walk you through the product line. But thank you for calling me creative (and calling me out). That makes me well up a little.

Indeed there are at least three things I am not very good at: 1) Singing; 2) Illustrating ; and, 3) T-Shirt making. Thus most MopeGarb™ [just trademarked that shit BTW] is quite simple. Simply crap! I know. But, have you considered this, maybe it's intentional crap. I know, sly like a fox, middlespacers.

I realize that since I can't make t-shirts I have to make 'em simple and *gasp* with a touch of irony. C'mon?, "Stop Having Babies" is a goddamn classic fun and you know it. Three words that will never get you laid. And, "Hitler Hates Me." Please! That's fucking genius in terms of nuance. Think on that: Hitler hates me. That's so XFL, right?

With reference to the "Hardaway Family Reunion" shirt, I'm sticking to my guns though (which is probably a horrible pun in this case). I went into this particular project with the following mindset: How would someone with absolutely no experience set out to make a family reunion t-shirt? Seriously. My aunt would make that shirt [clicky]. Besides have you read the very sad case information? [clicky] Think about this for one minute (or do I need to get Malcolm to write a book for you?).

Bottom line: So I decided to meet you half way because when you "where" my gear, I want you to be happy (and get laid). And I don't want to sound/feel defensive. So I have a deal:

If five Middlespacers to challenge me to make the best middlespace t-shirt ever I will do it for you. I'll even count Oh Face, who already indicated that they would "where" MopeGarb™, as one. So only four more people need to step up to the Great Middlespace T-Shirt Challenge. That is, if I receive a total of five t-shirt challenges I guarantee that I will put the effort into making a shirt that is so irresistibly perfect that if you aren't compelled to buy one (so you can "where" it), I will buy you the t-shirt of your choice.

Pepsi challenge, bitches! Even better than and more clever than, if you can even believe it, this perfect but never made gem:

Donkey schlong indeed.

You Are Not An Artist - 4

So yesterday I read this New York magazine piece about Malcolm Gladwell. Oh, Malcolm, Malcolm. Interesting dude for sure. And I know, I have harshed on Malcom Gladwell in the past but he's still fascinating. Smarter than you. Cooler than you. Deeper than you. And just when you thought you had him pegged as some sort of "journalist" you come and realize that not only is Malcolm Gladwell a brilliant ass artist, but he's better at his art than you are at yours. So once again you are a loser like John F. Kerry. Anyway, Malcolm's skin is thicker than he lets on so I do him no harm nor would I.

And, yes, in case you wondered--aloud or in the privacy of your prayers--I do in fact ponder Mullato-ism a great deal. [Ed. note: And by "Mullatoes" I mean the select and chosen people who are smarter than you and who are better process/context artists than you] And, In case you wondered; the answer is "yes." Yes there is a reason directly associated with this rhyme. "This is called the 'Greatest Story Ever Told'."

Anyway, Malcolm's next book is about outliers. In this case, human outliers out past the positive end of the bell. I don't suppose he's writing about sociopaths this time. I understand the piece to be about people who are either incredible at what they do or who do incredible things. He's all about how and why this happens. He even offers suggestions about how to balance fields and equalize opportunities. Blah-blah-blah.

People with read his book and have thoughts and opinions about his writing, his topics and samples, his approach to methods, and his balance on a given topic. People will agree and they will disagree. But what you suckers don't get is that Malcolm, as my daughter would say, "made you look." Malcolm made you and you and you and you do three things you hadn't planned to do:

• He made you read something
• Made you think about something
  
• Made you form your own damn opinion about something
  

And that is why you are not an artist. Because those jobs are scare, the gigs are taken, and the wait list for those positions is fucking hella long. It's like trying to get a principle percussionist position in a major symphony or tickets to High School Musical Live or some shit.

Malcolm Gladwell makes how you view the world just seem janky as hell, doesn't it? You know it does.

Art-Intelligence? Represent!

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YANAA archive: [clicky]

Rain's Blues Continued

"No one has ever seen anything like this before and there are still many more things ahead that we have never seen but before too long we won't be able to imagine what it was like before we saw them."

- Rich

Weekend Special

Headphones....


Log in today: [clicky]

New Middlespace T-Shirts!

Today, in the postal mail, I received a Special Distribution of Unidentified Person flyer from the National Center for Missing & Exploited Children. Specifically it was for me--because of my name and my proximity to Baltimore.

I was moved to make honorific shirts. What else can a empathetic person do? Besides. If I wear my shirt (which I already ordered), maybe I'll help the case. It's the little things.

See case information here: [clicky]

3/4 Blue Jersey - $17

SS Red Ringer - $15

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Other Middlespace products from Middlespace Apparel:

MopeWare

Babies!

Sofa Revisited (with self-admitted 'touch')

The Sofa Project: [clicky]

From Lily (I Think)

From Lily: "Don't think. Thinking is the enemy of creativity. It's self-conscious, and anything self-conscious is lousy. You can't try to do things. You simply must do things."

- Ray Bradbury


From Ty: "Don't think. Do."

- Ralph Hardimon

What I'm Talking About

This is what I'm talking about [clicky]; people all cutting McCain out and leaving Palin. Barack hasn't even been given the keys to the palace yet. Bush is still president and the 2012 campaign is already in high gear.

Bobby Jindal? C'mon.

You Are Not An Artist - 3

So this is my experience. I like Ben Harper's music. What can I say? Mullatoes stick together, righrt? Mullatoes from Claremont are bound though. But I don't really care for the ballad-y stuff and his last few records have been pretty much not my bag. Big deal. He does his thing. I do mine. He's still more talented than you'll ever be in your nine lives.

But I heard this morning that Ben Harper is playing with a new configuration and is calling it:

Relentless 7

So?

So, l'il Benny might be bringing the shit back, yuns! L'il Benny might be bringing it back "for real" and "for damn sure." And from what I heard it's a rock band. Which, for me, is perfect since I've always liked the rock side anyhow ("Serve Your Soul," and the first side of Live From Mars, "Faded," "The Will to Live," "Voodoo Chile," etc.) . I could go on and analyze and ponder but why? No justification needed.

I'm just sayin'. The web site is just sayin': [clicky]

I'm way more Dean Butterworth than I'll ever be Jack Johnson. [Ed. note: R7 also wins best website ever award]

91711? Represent!

You Are Not An Artist - 2

FreeDarko presents... The Macrophenomenal Pro Basketball Almanac

[clicky]

Not only is this high art, but it very well may single-handedly get me back into the NBA.

Hoops? Represent!