dtht

Don't Tell Him That

[clicky]

 

16:00 para auriculares y cacao

 tyhardaway dot com

 

Growth

THEN

Someone told me they were happy for my coming opportunities

They said it would be amazing for me and I would experience growth

I was lightly insulted as I was already a fully formed full-grown human

What possible growth could I possibly experience at this juncture?

"Personal growth is the process of an individual becoming aware of the 'self' in its entirety, followed 

by taking steps to address behaviors, attitudes, values, actions, and habits that they wish to change."

I process so many things in subtly different shades and dimensions

Words and deeds and feelings somehow make a surreal sense to me

The analyses of data that clearly point to one plausible conclusion

And it brings some satisfaction to know that work produces results

NOW

Now

 ©2023 Lena Drapella (@lenadrapella)

When everything is clicking, when the people are trained and are executing, when the modeling has been absorbed, there are moments when one can take a step back and simply observe. And appreciate. And reflect. These moments are extraordinarily brief. The amazing photographer Lena Drapella saw it. It is testament to her eye, experience, and training. Where some may observe that I am doing nothing, I'm actually doing the sum of everything that has ever happened to me in my life of doing things. This is the real work. Yet, these moments are extraordinarily brief.

I just had an exceptional opportunity to do unprecedented things. I leaned in very hard. I have had the opportunity to be the very best at a particular thing exactly three times in my life. I have accepted those challenges. I have been "world's best" at things. That's a weird thing to write.

I am skilled and I am fortunate. I am persistent and I am optimistic. I evangelize my beliefs and I am correct an overwhelmingly majority of the time. I fight and I get hurt. I win more than I lose. I see through knots. As they say in the community, "He got that dog in 'em!"

There has been so much overwhelmingly positive feedback for what I am doing now. It's all nice but I know there is real work ahead. In order to make others better, things better.  I have to get better, be better. "Absolute legend" can wait until I'm dead. "Best in the business" needs tough competition.

Is there a cost? Yes. Do I care? Not any more.

Status Report

 

Chrysalis

A day for a poem
    no I’m not
    yes I very much am*
This was never new

The hubris of ambition
    Faking our deaths
    to realize our lives
Always stuck to the plan

Changing the world
    while humbling
    while mind blowing
Was never accidental

Putting in work
    long days
    longer nights
Earning a semblance of cred

So her(e) we go (again)
    it’s all or not
    win or leave
I will outwork you

*this is true

These Are The Questions About Who We Are (9.5.19, previously "unpublished", unedited)

Fine OK Fine
is how I answered
and that very well may become
the standard answer
from here on out
to the question
How are you?

Where are the connections?

To people (to mystery)
To concepts (to adventure)
To reason (to the species)
To conversation (to the planet)
To stories (to separation)
To intimacy (to the written word)

The sad part is we are the
very people who should
know better
the exact demographic
historically

We have a context
We have the education
We have the foresight

We lived before
We lived during
We lived after

We do know better
but we have grown lazy and mindless
maybe more than the kids
who were born into it
when we had to build it

How sad to see them get it all wrong

Mothers and fathers
Roles and reversals
Sons and daughters
Real and pretend

Reparations for
The Atlantic Slave Trade Business
will never happen

Secondhand smoke
in the eyes of the beholder
is neither friend nor foe

 

[2019] 

[sliding]

I Once Made This

[clicky]

2007 was a long time ago and in 2007 i made this song as a closer to the Free Milk Seminar album

for better or worse i'm not 2007 ty anymore

for worse or better i very much am 2007 ty

(and 1987 ty)

             ------------------------------------------

Rich liked it at the time and added a track to to make Rain's Blues 2

it think it's pretty good and holds up well

there's a video recap somewhere

middlespace sounds

Cures

 

intuitively the question is usually
what is the disease?

but sometimes we should ask first
what is the cure?

just what then is cure?
we all just want destinations

places safe to exist
at the end of journeys

ZZ in the TC

 

numb to it all

 

so here i am and this is what

it all looks like now

how it is 

reality

this

i

know

really ty

what it feels

to be me right now

still better still the best

multi-hyphenate and legendary

the act as old as forever

since the beginning

and forevers

and evers

until

i

forget

the leisure

i actually invented

refined and sold as export

it is just a really sloppy hubris

an indictment on my belief in humans

better to just stay in shadows

and carefully observe

with diligence

skeptically

opt out

 #end#