Showing posts with label Experiential. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Experiential. Show all posts

Thursday

This Fucking Creek – Part 1 – Frazier’s Bog by Otterfarm

My mother rang a set of ceramic bells to call me back from across the brook for lunch and dinner. The unnamed brook flowed through my arm of the woods into Terwood Run which flowed into Pennypack Creek which flowed into the Delaware River which flowed into the Delaware Bay where the horseshoe crabs lived.

I never saw any of the creek between the city line and the river. The water flowed east past my house and then mostly south. My life went west from my house and then mostly south. Friends, school, stores, baseball, turnpikes - all of that was west and south. After it flowed east past my house, I wouldn’t see that water again until Penn’s Landing, or some years, Lewes, Delaware where Uncle Rupert lived with a hole in his skull covered by skin and hair.

Viewed on a map, the woods were small. But they were large enough that I never made it to the other side by foot. Four roads framed the woods: Edgehill, Terwood, Paper Mill, and Old Welsh. Old names that reflected real characteristics, not contrived marketing devices like Fairway, Willowbrook, or Country Club Avenues that invaded from the northwest corner.

I lived someplace - Frazier’s Bog - at the foot of the highest hill in the county. When I was 17 and lived on the other side of the hill, I would walk up to the top. If it was dusk, I would climb on the roof of an abandoned elementary school – Woodside - and watch the sun go down over the city skyline and, further west, over the cooling towers of the nuclear power plant. If it was dark, I would climb the radio tower and look the other direction toward the twinkling lights of the two naval air stations.

A hundred years earlier, a famous naturalist had written papers about Frazier’s Bog. What could be found there could not be found anywhere else in the state. Over a dozen different plants - common to the Pinelands but uncommon here. Unknown anywhere further west. By the time I was born, my house and maybe four others had obliterated most of Frazier’s Bog. Ten years after I moved away, someone else came and counted. Three plants were left. Sweet magnolia and two others you don’t care about.

There was a small dam upstream from me. Mr. Dawson hung a swing in the beech tree that grew on the opposite bank. He shot the rope up into the tree with a bow and arrow. He said the Indians taught him. I assumed they lived there before me. Once, I saw the dam named on a map. The name meant nothing to me. It was not the name of a living neighbor. Being meaningless, I forgot it.

I was the only kid in Frazier’s Bog (except for my bookworm sister). I probably knew it better than anyone else alive. I knew where the deer skeleton was. I knew where the junk pile was. I knew where the six-pack of Miller was. I knew where the old stone foundation was.

I lived in that creek for fifteen years and never learned the name of anything else that lived in it other than crayfish. That knowledge didn’t exist in my family. My old man, 35 years later, could still recite the train schedules from all the games of chicken he played on the rails outside of Baltimore. But I’ve been to that house. He had no creek. Just railroads. Some families lose knowledge. Some never had it.

When I was 13, the woods tried to kill me twice. Once, Hurricane Gloria dropped a 100-foot oak on my bedroom. Wood splintered. Glass shattered. Knobby branches penetrated the roof and clawed at me but their timing was off and missed me by seconds. A few months later, a deer tick bit me. It took 10 doctors 13 days or 13 doctors 10 days to diagnose me with Lyme Disease. In the meantime, I waited, delirious, fevered, and generally unconcerned for a diagnosis.

Two years later, my mother claimed that the attempted murders were why we were leaving. But the truth was, by that point she had lived there five times longer than she had lived anywhere else in her life and was itchy to leave. Preacher’s kid. She’s never lived anywhere that long since.


We moved away. To the other side of the hill, as I said. Not far – maybe a mile - but far enough that we were out of the woods and the water flowed west through the Wissahickon into the Schuylkill River. The water followed me to school each day.

Teenagers don’t get nostalgic. I didn’t make it back across the hill all that much. No more ceramic bells calling me.

I went back a few years ago. A new golf course had isolated my arm of the woods. Frazier’s Bog had been reduced to a three-foot strip on either side of the creek complete with little signs that said, “Sensitive Habitat Area – Keep Out.”

What’s the point? No point. Shut up and listen. I’m talking about creeks.

(to be continued)

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Wednesday

The Hazards of Love by the Decemberists - Record Review Corner #1

Adding to my lengthy list of things I am not, I'm not record reviewer. I don't know all the haughty record reviewer terms or have insightful criticisms about nuance. I do not possess any particular hatred toward any particular record labels. Nor do I have a particular affinity for any of the cool "independent" labels either. I just like music. I like what I like. It either sucks or it rules. I barely even pay attention to lyrics or song titles. I've been in like half-a-dozen bands and still don't know lyrics to songs I wrote or song titles from my solo albums. I hear the big themes of the music, the peaks and the valleys, the rhythms, the essence; I hear in middlespaces. And like all us white guys, I just bite my lower lip, close my eyes, and bob my head up and down to the quarter notes as I do my best Phish-kid twirly dance. My young college-aged nephew, who I'll call Mike (because his name is Mike, from the whiter side of the family), is my connection to what you kids are listening to nowadays. Musically we both span generations, I got Blueberry Boat and Iron Flag from Mike. He got Nevermind and In Utero from me back when he was 13. I turned him on to Panda Bear and Neutral Milk Hotel. Symbiosis across the generations. Mike's at one of the prestigious California liberal arts colleges. He's 21 now, so I if I'm not txting him I generally do not hear from him except at Thanksgiving and the 4th of July. But…I got an email from Mike last month directing me to a track from what was to appear on the then forthcoming The Hazards of Love release by the Decemberists. Mike knows me pretty well now so he knew I'd love it. And I did, he was so right. Prep school served him well. I appreciate that he cares too. And I appreciate his taste (except for his "Philly thing" for G. Love – poor misguided youth). So I passed Mike's link along to Rickey Powell to hear because like with "Animal in Every Corner" from Trying Hartz and "I'm slowly Turning Into You" from Icky Thump, I was excited and knew RP was one person who would know where I was coming from with these types of tracks. Just yesterday I get an emailing from Apple. Apparently Rickey Powell had gifted me The Hazards of Love for iTunes. How fucking sweet. Friends are good a thing (12 year-old in-joke, haters). So, just for you, I'm gonna turn on to The Hazards of Love right now on the headphones. I will type what comes to mind over the next 58:37. Give me one moment first.... OK, here goes:
The Decemberists – The Hazards of Love [Capital; 2009] [begin – play along at home by starting your recording now] Side One: Prelude: What's that, a low G? Deep, foreboding. Second tone oscillating somewhere. Nice. Sets a good mood. A good place to start your donkey ride if one were into that sort of thing. Old heads will hear definite shades of early prog-rockin' Yes here. Builds until a pipe organ comes to forefront, then…choral, vocals. Religious. Dissonance. Nice! The Hazards of Love 1: A guitar takes baton adds vox. A story begins. A white and wounded fawn singing about the hazards of love. Bass. Shakers in stereo. Textures so satisfying to the brain stem. Plans vexed? Several layers deep. Great use of stereo (two ears & corpus callosum). A tale. Singing, "Ohhh – ohhhh…the hazards of love." Ah. Some drums. That's right, rock bands need some drums. No cymbals yet. Just drums. Rough, dark, earthy drums. Like the white kid drum circle at Berkeley. Clean not mean. Textures. Textures and robust orchestration. So far this is a record that demonstrates that there was some planning. Sweet textures of acoustic picking. A Bower Scene: This is "the change." Like menopause or a film edit. Maybe the same scene, actually, but a new camera angle. I could do w/o the Olde English, but I get it. Quentin Tarantino angles. Oh shit! 1:00 into this track – a statement! Something serious just happened here. And…back. Young Margaret's waistline. And again, for emphasis, The Statement to end this track. Serious business from the nerds. Bill Gates with a pistol grip pump shotgun in his lap. Won't Want for Love: OH SHIT! A WOMAN'S VOICE. Who's this?! Completes the picture though. It's a play. The balance is nearly perfect. Front to back, left to right, textures and energies. I'm in love with a voice. The male voice is back, professing love and devotion. But we already know this is a tragedy-in-progress, dude. We can feel it in the music. But one cannot fault a guy from trying to get some love, right? No question, she's gonna burn you up, son. We can already see it. Ahhh…the hazard of love. Oh shit! I just GOT something! It was right there, yo! Gotta respect the stacked chimes to transition…to: The Hazards of Love 2: Nice new voicing position on lead mic. Way out in front now. In my face. Here you are. Hear you are! Hi! Working it. Your friends will laugh at you. The guys. But mack, son, mack! That's your woman! Love only comes every here and again. Profess it. Swear it. Beg it! Guitar to organ transition is great. Tambourine…and out. Just like that. Vicious acoustic guitaring. The kind of texture I gave Jason L. on Ark-Ark-Ark. Take my hand and cradle it in your hand…feel the pull of quicksand. Conventional yet compelling use of open orchestral ascending chord progressions. Effective emotionally, the world's oldest trick. The Queen's Approach: A banjo has arrived among dissonance and confusion of witches and wizards. The banjo knows the deal. The banjo always knows the deal. The fool. The joker. The jester. The banjo. Isn't It a Lovely Night?: Now this is familiar. Terrific unisons. Accordion and guitar? Yes it is a lovely night, my dear. Well-timed modulations. I fucking love her voice. It's now all Rodgers & Hammerstein like Carousel. What is this guitar pattern reminding me of? What is this riff? Should I go back? Should I figure it out? It's on the tip of my brain. No, the waltz section is lovely. 3/4 spins. The Wanting Comes in Waves / Repaid: Harpsichord. Mother I can hear your footfall. Now. Again, the well-planned, nicely-timed unisons. What's this chord doing? Dissonance and ominous-ness. Ominous-icity. Clouds and animals in the bushes. Now we're definitely into a familiar territory of modern indie concept rock. But more full and better chord progressions than most. Oh damn! Big moment @ 1:47. Decemberists just whipped out a case of penises. C'mon, sell it! Sell it! Vocals don't match guitars…Push it. But so what? I don't care. It's loud in here! It's great in here! There's a great thing happening with the hi-hat. The eighth-note accent travels along the pattern (from 1 to 1& to 2 to 2&, etc.). I wonder if this was played like this (if so, brills!), if created in edit, still great. Back to unisons with harpsichord. Now big recapitulation of recapitulations. Granting favors. Arcade Fire meets Neutral Milk Hotel at Deerhoof. But with bigger internal sex glands. Arcade and Neutral could never emote to this level; Deerhoof is to sparse. An Interlude: The well-timed interlude serves as the opportunity to get back up on your donkeys, kids. Conveniently and graciously they gave you said opportunity at the beginning and now you can re-up your donkey. Free of charge. You don't even have to break pace. At all. See? There's even time for some ferocious French kissing and a quickie bathroom break. Build it up, tear it down...ride your donkey into town. Now, we're back. Ladies and gentlemen, the rest of the album: Side Two: The Rake's Song: So this is the song I think Mike sent me the link to. I believe it to be so. I think I can. Thick with amp fuzz and big, booming thunder of drums (over compressed). All on top of the buzz/texture of acoustic strumming. All right! Like I said, thunder! Crash! Boom! What? Dave Wave just sent me an email:
"Watching Shine a Light at work here. The line's "life's just a cocktail party". I always thought it was "Knives to the cocktail party" - much better."
I've never seen Shine a Light. I'm working, nigga! Of course it's "...life's just a cocktail party...on the street. Big apple!" Damn, nigga. Damn! Open roll on the hi-hat (pretty clear 32nds). Nice after exit of toms. Big vocals and orchestrations. Settling. The Abduction of Margaret: And, back to work. 16ths on the hi-hat. The organ work is subtle here, but great, quite clear. Just slightly trailing the attacks on the guitar changes (delay echo), a good effect (must copy). Ahhh! Again big with the A Bower Scene builds/statements (I'll have to check that reference). The Queen's Rebuke / The Crossing: Statement re-launched! Oh shit. This is moving now. Bones of the branches of the brow-beating lies or some shit. Heavy metal vamp. Cymbal ride cuts really nice. Very Alice in Chains vamping. Except the haunting female vocal OOOOOOOs make it more riveting. Very riveting. Not threatening. I saw Alice in Chains in small pre-big-time venue. '92. Guitar as penis time. But that's what a guitar's purpose is. Again, reminiscent of Alice in Chains. Now back to prog-rock 101 on KMET (little bit of heaven, ninety-four point seven). Are these guys music school nerds? They have a good feel for style. Better than Lenny Kravitz in terms of historical moment extraction. ORGAN!!! The ascension. Ascension. Ascension! ASCENSION! Anna Water: Shake me awake. How'd I get here? It's like waking up. In water. OR on the sea...in a ship. With no context for how you got there or why you're there. The obligatory train song song. Cold water to face like Furious Floyd. Do it here. I'm cheering you on, people. C'mon. C'mon. I'm waiting. I'm willing. Do it. Do it to me! The horses shiver and bite against the bridle. So wide and so textural. Nice again. Again, some beautiful unison voicings. And back to the pony ride. But I only see retarded hippie kids noodle-dancing here. Stop it! Stop it now! I hate the hippie kids' dancing. They so suck. Sit down! You can't dance! Your parents didn't send you to NYU for you to dance like that! Stop the hippie kid images! Sit down hippie kids! I get what's happening here with the ds al coda. But. BUT, it just blew even my attention span. Good coda though. Just. Too. Long. Margaret In Captivity: Another familiar riff/sound. Intentional. It works. History of prog/alt since 1969. Love the dissonant overlays. We're back to good places. Safe place. Nice. Bringing her back to me like that. Even if she's crazy and would kill me if she were my "life partner." She's beautiful, she's intelligent, but she's crazy. You can hear it in the rats. Rats in the walls. Rats on the wall. So dark in the tower. So dire and so serious. She's a suicide in waiting; for your or for me. Perhaps both. So very heartbreaking. Tender and tragic. The Hazards of Love 3: Variation number three. The Sound of Music hilltop. Flower children dancing. That vendor from Tommy. Welcoming you to Tommy's Holiday Camp. The camp with the difference, never mind the weather. It all happens up here. Shit. I was right. Kid voices. Chil-runs. A brilliant effect for here with that back filter suck-sound thing going on. Dreamy. Loosely dream-like from LOST. Oh, it is a dream. I've been in this dream before. I know you. I know you. Hi! When do I wake? Down there? OK. Yes, I'll have another unicorn, thank you. It's all about now. May I wake? Oh, OK. Yes. Ice cream. The robots are happy. I love when the robots are happy. Especially when the factory is making more! Robots making (love) robots for robots. We witness. This carousel is going much too fast. Too fast! TOO FAST! I want to wake up now. Wake up. Wake up. Wake up! Thank you very much to wake up! Narm! The Wanting Comes In Waves: But there's no waking. Just mountain climbing. In warm sunshine. More of a beautiful hike than a mountain climb. Up. Up. Up! Warm.... She loves me. I love her. Life is love. Up! Up! Flying. Flying. But I can't fly.
Blog: whas up whas up? me: writing this thing now there's a story here. Blog: including this IM msg, or no? me: of course the IM thing of course, brother, how did you know? Blog: have fun! produce, man. keeeep produuuucing, pops!
The Hazards of Love 4: Now that the coma is over. Family and friends are all here. How long have I been…away? What? She's dead? How? When? Asleep. But. But. I don’t want to live without her. She was life. IS my life. My life. My wife. I cannot live without her. Her. Her. Her. Her. Her. Level two - Now that the coma-coma is over-over. I had such a weird dream that I was in a coma and that I came out of it and now here I am. Barefoot. On this mountain. The wreckage of civilization at my feet. Bleeding from hands and ankles. Stigmata. Blood of sins. Sins and souls. A pedal steel player. A drummer. A bass player. They're all here. We're a band, Marcus. We're a band! You can't be late for rehearsal. Because we're a band. And we don’t suck. We're the best band. Listen to us! Listen to me! Listen. Violins. Daisies. Colors. Licking quietly at our ankles. Watching a movie. Dark, smoky theater. Just us. You and me. Alone. A film almost over. I lean over and kiss your neck. Grateful that I love you and you love me. Grateful for love. Such a weird, sad, happy, beautiful movie. So much about life and love. Powerful. Thank you for letting me down so easy. I love you too. [End]

Friday

Dead Bodies (for Ellie Campbell)

Yesterday Danny called me all in a panic to say that he had gone to the house of one of his employees, Trish, to check on her because she hadn't shown up to work in a few days, answered her phone (landline or cell), or returned any of his messages. After initially being pissed, he got kind of worried. The landlord let him in. Trish was dead. She was about 55 or so. No known cause yet.

Danny was totally rattled having never, ever, ever seen a dead body in person; even at a funeral. I wasn't phased because I've seen plenty of dead people. It's highly experiential for me. Maybe what separates me from Danny isn't that I've seen "plenty" of dead people, because I don't know if I've seen more or less than anyone else, but that if I don't hear from someone for more than about 70 minutes, I just assume they are dead and start planning accordingly, psychologically anyway.

Maybe what separates me from Danny is that I have actually found dead people myself. Four of 'em, all overdoses, except for one.

Here goes:

Dead Body #1: The first was Katrina in '89 who was addicted to heroin and all-pharms and crystal meth (and probably crack too) and had a temper that could only be described as goddamn fucking explosive! I used to let her visit me at the office (never at home) and I always had to sit in the chair by the door with the door cracked a little, just in case she was having a day. Three times over the course of the year I knew her I had to call 911 to have the police remove her from the office for screaming and making threats and refusing to leave and throwing shit and just freaking the fuck out from hearing simple truths about her life. No one ever pressed charges but once they arrested her for possession. It's funny when people get busted for possession; how they are all incredulous about how magical drugs got in their pockets and they do this whole "Whaaaat? I don't do drugs...you planted them on me!" routine. This act is the exact reason I watch COPS on TeeVee.

Anyway, Katrina was obviously a high risk for accidental overdose and that's exactly what happened to her. I got a call from a colleague who got a call from her landlord about an odor. I went out, he let me in, and she was on the bed, dead, eyes open and very red, pills visible in her vomit and that whole dramatic scene. I guest it was shocking for me at the time. The smell of death: much shit, new mulch, and beef stew.

Kat was only 22 and she actually still believed she was going to beat it and live a life happily ever after. She really believed in a future. She used to write these long kind of 8th-grade-rhyming poem-raps about life and would show them to me with pride:

I gotta hang on/cuz I believe in me/
and I'm gonna dream on/cuz there's so much for me to be

I really liked her though, so I was glad I was the one who found her because her whole family was fucking all kinds of white trash miserable and her boyfriend was just pure evil. And all of her "friends" were the predatory type. I wish her whole gang could've been indicted for murder, because that's basically what happened.

Dead Body #2: I only knew Jimmy for a few weeks in the summer of 1995. Heroin, of course. A mutual friend called to say that Jimmy was missing. We went to his place and convinced the manager to let us in. And there he was dead on his side on the kitchen floor, with bunches of plastic grocery bags in each hand, and a used condom on the floor...of the kitchen. No odor, thank G-d. All the lights were on. Camera equipment and accessories all over the place, some not even opened yet.

Jimmy's place was odd in that there was a digital clock radio in every single room, in the hallway, in the bathroom too, and no furniture except an office chair and a futon mattress on the floor, with a sleeping bag, and a bunched-up flannel shirt for a pillow. Mostly camera equipment and a laptop.

Why the clocks? We never bothered to ask. I still can't figure and no one seems to have known why the clocks.

Dead Body #3: The consummate junky's junky, Carla would ingest anything, smoke anything, inject anything, snort anything, plug anything. Everything, actually. She was 45 and had been living like that since she was 12. She looked 60. It was a miracle she was still alive. Her lifestyle had just caught up to her. I went to pick her up to take her to her first medical care in 10 years; a physical that she had finally agreed to take only if the "doctor didn't lecture."

It was 2001 and Carla lived in the worst rooming house in Lynn, which is saying a lot. Lynn, interestingly is only one of two non-deep south places I've been called "nigger" to my face, which is saying a lot (Cincinnati is the other). This place was the saddest and most violent pit of despair and human depravity I've ever seen. It may be the place that has frightened me the most. Her door was open and the TeeVee was on and she was dead next to her bed. Not long dead either. As I was calling 911 some dude walked in behind me with his pants off and a huge erection in his hand. Comically, he about faced and marched out when he saw me. And, that was Carla's life: door open, sex for drugs, 24/7, use or be used. I stayed there until the cops and EMT came even though I was terrified to be there. That place was that bad. It was stupid and paternal of me to stay, I know. But its what I did because I'm sure further violations would have occurred.

Dead Body #4
: In 2006 I was sent to check on an AWOL co-worker because he hadn't shown up to work in for several days, answered his phone, or returned messages. Awwww shit! We got in touch of his brother through a number in his HR file and he met me at Dave's place with the police there for a "health n' safety" visit (and to legally break in). Dave was dead on his shitty couch, the TeeVee was on and it stunk like fuck. The body had actually ruptured, what the cops called, "a popper." The police put these tiny tampons in their nostrils and seemed wholly and surprisingly unfazed. Dave's brother vomited.

Dave died at 41. Carol (our boss) was totally rattled. I wasn't because Dave was a total pain in my professional ass. Dave had started a diet and rapidly dropped like 70-80 pounds in like two months. People asked him, "are you okay, aren't you losing weigh too quickly?" and he was defensive as hell with his, "can't a guy lose weight anymore with out people criticizing him?" Incredulous, he was. He didn't know he had somehow given himself diabetes and basically killed himself.

I had to pretend to give a shit around the office and at the memorial when deep inside I was so relieved. I acted all sad like I did when that time I got laid off with an incredible severance package and before I signed the termination agreement.

Anyway, have a good weekend. Don't die. Or, at least, don't let me find your ass. If a plane doesn't crash into your house, you win today.