Sliding Home Again

 sliding home again

Today I’m feeling the slide quite deeply. Almost as if I’ve been anticipating it, waiting for it, and needing it. Now we can put this thing, or, all these things to bed. Finally. It’s not like everything needs a pretty bow or anything, but resolution is an extremely undervalued aspect of context.

the eagerness forces the choices

I’m used to the loneliness, really. It’s where the so-called magic happens. Things only get confusing when I try to pretend that I am a real human and there is a place for me among the people. Sometimes learning takes time. I have been productive for several decades. It happens largely in isolation, in quiet, in darkness. This is probably why I’m so awkward yet preserved.

long wakes and future gifts

I do sometimes get away from the process, out of plan, out of pocket, off-book, and lost in the forest. And it is with welcome relief and surprise that I can actually still find my way home. It’s like how I conduct conversations; leading everyone down meandering paths following scents and subtle movement only to deftly reel everyone back to tonic. I’ve been called a conductor, a producer, and a legend. But none of that means anything anymore. I’m just another person.

crossroads between a rock and into the fire

In the end (Indian) I guess it’s always going to be the same. That’s probably likely because this is exactly how I’ve built everything to be. From concept to design to curation, it’s all there, customized, optimized. For a while, anyhow, because if we’ve learned anything, it’s the realization that absolutely nothing is or will be forever. Forever is a myth like government and religion. Forever is the carrot and history is the stick. I think the two or three people who have actually taken a close look at this nonsense are most likely to run the farthest.