there was once a time when i believed that people cared about what i thought so i said things and i wrote things and people appeared to be amused by the things i thought and they asked me for more so i said and wrote more about what i thought until it became plainly evident that absolutely no one any longer really cared about what i thought so i finally stopped saying and writing things reflective of what i thought but i took a perverse satisfaction that for a finite amount of time there will remain evidence of what i thought at particular times in my life that may be consistent with how i think now or may very well and in no form resemble my thoughts of today or even my thoughts of tomorrow but may help me better understand who i was and who i am and who i hope to someday be because if there is one goal i have always in life had it was to dissect myself to the cellular level because i am and have always been my most complex difficult and fascinating subject to the point of maybe someday i will consider believing that people might really care about what i think and i will say things and write things reflective of that