Oh, Shit!

From Big Dave Wave with more about the Samoan Strangling Incident:

We had two bathrooms in our on-campus apartment. At some point we switched bathrooms - we had problems already - and I started sharing mine with Lua (RJ with Scott, Me with Lua - I have no idea what Ty did).

Well, eventually, there was no toilet paper in that bathroom, and getting more required taking a bus ride in to town. So I was using sheets of paper towels, when necessary, that I was taking from the kitchen. I guess Lua was perplexed (cats perplexed this man-he must have been in koledge on some special program) and was wondering what I was doing in there with no toilet paper, I guess. This obviously was a great concern of his and one day while I was in my room innocently trying to get the world's first computer to work again he comes bursting in (think Kramer style), hair all crazy, eyes gone wild, and he says "You've been wiping your ass with my washcloth!"

I was stunned! I couldn't think why anyone would say something like that! (it wasn't until a bit later I realized the no toilet paper/paper towel connection.) I said "what?!" he said "Yeah, I looked at my washcloth and there were PUBIC HAIRS on it!" I don't remember how I responded, but I'm sure I wasn't too friendly or understanding of his apparent break with reality/psychotic episode (I'm sure I was laughing) and the next thing I knew I was up against the wall on the other side of the room with his giant crazy hand wrapped completely around my neck.

Later a house meeting was called by Judith, the preceptor I think she was called, [before the "house meeting" was called, Juidth apparently assigned Lua the task of notifying the house that there was a meeting. When Lua mumbled about the meeting to Ty, his response was something like, "Meeting? I don't really want to got to an ass wiping meeting -- and of course Ty was tackled by the crazy Samoan too. One second typing, the next clobbered).

Judith, the preceptor naturally took Lua's side on all of this and said to me "I know Lua, and he wouldn't do something like that, he's a very nice person." (later Mr. Lua (which Ty and I obviously pronounced dumbly "A-LOO-Ah") was thrown out of school for beating someone up - no doubt because he found urine on his toast.) So this meeting is totally like the Twilight Zone - this Judith character telling me I need to do this or that or whatever when I just got choked because this idiot thinks he sees pubic hair on his washcloth.

And Ty is making snide and sarcastic comments the whole time and Judith finally tells him to be more helpful or something (I think she says something slow and clinical like, "Ty, why don't you write your thought down and when it's your turn you have them ready) so Ty says OK, he'll take notes and leaves and soon returns with GIANT sheet of paper, like 6 feet of butcher paper you'd wrap fish in or make a banner with. And he sits down with this long scroll at his feet, serious look on his face, with pen poised, ready to take diligent notes.

Judith says "Ty, don't you think you're being a little dramatic?" Ty says, "It was the first paper I could find.'

No wonder I moved in to a single dorm room the next year!