Saturday
Friday
Crashing to a Halt
Today, despite cold and pouring rain, Reykjavik-in-February lighting, and shortened work time, had shaped up to be fairly interesting. I mean the Starbucks thing got me going. I was juice!
But, then after searching for and reading about "art grants" and other "funding sources for art" to pay for some of these ideas, I completely fizzled out. Since I'm terrible at both selling art and selling services I figured that I'd go begging for money to do stuff. But after reading and pondering 30-page applications that contained stuff like the four tiny points below, I lost all energy.
So basically the people who magically "win" these projects are secretaries and Administrative Assistants. I know a million fucking artists (and I mean real artists not people who fucking think they make art and have no idea that both their ideas and execution are ass) and cannot for the life of me think of one single self-respecting person who would spend one second on this bullshit (myself included). Not that they'd eat out of the garbage (some would) but the creative mind doesn't work this way. Not close. No wonder so much public and sponsored art is so terrible.
I have an idea why don't you take you grant money and pay for my elective lobotomy. How's that for a conceptual project? Art. Art. Art?
So, if I do decide to type-for-monies, I'll post it here because I'm certain I can make the application itself a conceptual project while adhering to the rigid requirements.
Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.
But, then after searching for and reading about "art grants" and other "funding sources for art" to pay for some of these ideas, I completely fizzled out. Since I'm terrible at both selling art and selling services I figured that I'd go begging for money to do stuff. But after reading and pondering 30-page applications that contained stuff like the four tiny points below, I lost all energy.
What to SubmitReally? Still using the semi-colon in numbered/bulleted points? You could've gotten quite fancy and put a comma after the "and" in point 3 you know? In that order, huh? What is this an application for 1950s money? Should I mention that I'm planting a garden to celebrate Eisenhower's birthday? Maybe I can borrow Hunter S. Thompson's typewriter. Mind the margins!
Applicants for Grants for Creation of New Work must submit the following, with each set collated in the order shown:
1. One original signed in blue or red ink and six copies of page 9;
2. Seven copies of application pages 10-14;
3. Seven copies of Budget Notes, if any; and
4. Work Sample and Support Materials (see instructions on page 14 and pages 29-30).
Using no more than two single-spaced typed pages, describe the project you are proposing. Be sure to respond to each of the questions listed below. (Please use type that is 11 pt. or larger Arial or Helvetica. Please maintain at least a 1” margin on all sides.)
1. WHAT: Provide a detailed description of the project you are proposing.
2. WHY: Why is this project different from your current work?
3. WHEN: What are the dates or time line for the proposed project?
4. WHERE: Where will your proposed project take place?
5. WHO: State either that this project involves only you or, if other people are involved, describe how they will participate.
6. HOW: Describe the steps you have taken to develop this proposed project.
So basically the people who magically "win" these projects are secretaries and Administrative Assistants. I know a million fucking artists (and I mean real artists not people who fucking think they make art and have no idea that both their ideas and execution are ass) and cannot for the life of me think of one single self-respecting person who would spend one second on this bullshit (myself included). Not that they'd eat out of the garbage (some would) but the creative mind doesn't work this way. Not close. No wonder so much public and sponsored art is so terrible.
I have an idea why don't you take you grant money and pay for my elective lobotomy. How's that for a conceptual project? Art. Art. Art?
So, if I do decide to type-for-monies, I'll post it here because I'm certain I can make the application itself a conceptual project while adhering to the rigid requirements.
Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.
Dunno 'Bout This One
But ahmunna post it anyway.
[clicky]
Rickey: I do love the miniatures. I'm trying to come up with what makes some more effective than others. I think it has to do with believability. So trains make sense. People don't translate as well into the miniature, but toying with that line between what is convincing and what is not is the interesting part. I also think that perspective lends itself to believability. Level or downward looking shots work because that's the perspective you'd have on a miniature world. Shots upward don't. But again, the fertile ground is in between what you can get behind and believe and what you can't. The middlespace if you will.
Ty: Yes, the down shot is ideal for the mini effect. But consider this, if one were being creative in shooting real miniatures one might try to shoot them to NOT look like miniatures. I'm definitely toying (pun?) with what works and what doesn't. But, as you concur, it may or may not have to be what looks right (or convincing). Maybe I'm more in search of what just looks a little "off." Thus: Maybe I'm trying to make actual non-miniatures look like miniatures that look like non-miniatures with our without context.
As with all of this shit, it's body (thread) of work in progress.
[clicky]Rickey: I do love the miniatures. I'm trying to come up with what makes some more effective than others. I think it has to do with believability. So trains make sense. People don't translate as well into the miniature, but toying with that line between what is convincing and what is not is the interesting part. I also think that perspective lends itself to believability. Level or downward looking shots work because that's the perspective you'd have on a miniature world. Shots upward don't. But again, the fertile ground is in between what you can get behind and believe and what you can't. The middlespace if you will.
Ty: Yes, the down shot is ideal for the mini effect. But consider this, if one were being creative in shooting real miniatures one might try to shoot them to NOT look like miniatures. I'm definitely toying (pun?) with what works and what doesn't. But, as you concur, it may or may not have to be what looks right (or convincing). Maybe I'm more in search of what just looks a little "off." Thus: Maybe I'm trying to make actual non-miniatures look like miniatures that look like non-miniatures with our without context.
As with all of this shit, it's body (thread) of work in progress.
Dear Starbucks® - Let's Talk
"At the very least, Starbucks will smell like coffee again."
- New York Times, January 31, 2008
"The scent of ham, eggs, cheese and bacon will soon stop competing with the aroma of coffee in Starbucks stores as hot breakfast sandwiches become the first casualty of the company's battle to win back customers. The sandwiches, which will disappear by this fall."
- Chicago Tribune, January 31, 2008
Uh, hello? I already figured this one out. See my "You Reek Ah!" post from November.
"One thing you could count on with Starbucks--a coffee shop--was that it smelled like coffee. Entering gave one the sensations a junky would feel just holding a warm syringe; the body begins to react prior to direct stimulus. One would feel a little better just walking in to Starbucks Inc. because the smell would kick off the release of the brain chemicals."
- Ty Hardaway, Middlespace Industries of America™, November 16, 2007
"The scent of the warm sandwiches interferes with the coffee aroma in our stores," said Schultz. "While our customers liked our sandwiches, they told us they missed the aroma and the romance of coffee."
- Howard Schultz, CEO, Starbucks® Coffee, January 31, 2008
I totally called that one. Again! And I am pretty certain that all my moaning about that nasty-ass smell (and how it affects one's perception and memory) has had an real impact. I totally call "™" on that idea. It is yet aNOTHER the Kingdom of Leisure Million Dollar Idea®.
So, Starbucks® how can you repay me (other than a sweet oversized check for $1,000,000.00)? Free coffee and wifi for life. That's how. I want to be able to get my drink on at any Starbucks® for a long as I shall live. Wifi too, thanks (you should really make that a freebee, yo).
You can give me a ring at ty[at]middlespace[dot]net.
Thanks.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
Posts
