Thursday

Finding Los Angeles


I have this recurring dream where I drive through the city of Los Angeles looking at and for old places that seem vaguely familiar from my childhood. Laundromats, apartment buildings, stores, rose gardens, day care centers, parent's friend's houses, record stores, barber shops and the like are often subject and backdrop. Last night I was on a bicycle.

The whole vibe is always oddly nostalgic and often in a bit of slow motion. Sometimes I am looking for specific places for specific reasons and other times I'm just looking; to see what things look like now and how contexts have changed. Reconnecting. Point is, I am often searching for something. And in these dreams I am typically alone or with one very close friend and dreamy special guest.

These adventures -- within these dreams -- also spark memories from the past. But these are dreams so the memory-sparking and the odd nostalgia are mostly created by my brain just for nocturnal kicks. And whether in the dream I'm due to be somewhere or just randomly exploring, the mission also feels very very important if not essential. Perhaps a bit too self-important if you ask me. I wake up in a sheen and haze of naval gaze and memory. Perhaps I have a phony-ass repressed memory thing happening. Naw, that's just stupid!

I think the last time I explored LA was in 1993 or so. But that was some lightweight meandering from a place of curiosity rather than essence. I mean, maybe I should do just this someday. You know, go back and re-explore LA in some serious depth. Maybe take photographs and notes. Retrace some steps. Rediscover the middlespaces. Take my time.

There are so many places that I visit in dreams that I'm very curious about now, actually. Very specific places that shape my earliest memories. Fun places, scary places, desperate places. Interestingly, many of these dream places are real places still set in the past. Places that I've just not seen in 40 years. These dreams are like looking at the Reginald Denny beating over and over. I can actually explain what that means but I don't have to now.

Maybe I'll devote some time and effort in making something happen.