Friday

You Reek Ah!

Eureka! I figured it out; the problem with Starbucks Inc.

I have come to grips with the fact that the place has sucked for the past seven or eight years (but sometimes coffee is coffee), but recently I've just hated the place with all my heart and brain. Yesterday, I figured it out.

It's the smell.

One thing you could count on with Starbucks--a coffee shop--was that it smelled like coffee. Entering gave one the sensations a junky would feel just holding a warm syringe; the body begins to react prior to direct stimulus. One would feel a little better just walking in to Starbucks Inc. because the smell would kick off the release of the brain chemicals.

Since they have recently augmented their profit line with the introduction of nasty, poison, breakfast sandwiches the place has smelled less like coffee and more like the burning grease trap of a seedy rat-infested diner. If one isn't visiting the store to shove 900 mg of sodium and 900 grams of fat into their already morbidly obese American tax paying vessel, then the place is a huge downer. It's all smoky, gross, and wrong.

It doesn't smell like coffee anymore. Coffee is a pleasant smell. Burning ham and cheese biscuit isn't.

Now I don't have to go anymore.