Today's question comes from what I suppose I've been pursuing for at least a decade. The question (which very quickly becomes
questions and is the foundation of a life's work) is:
Q: How well do we know ourselves?
How well do I know
myself? Not physical or personality traits, but essence and being. Do we even have words to describe what we know in this regard when we distill to simple representations? Not where we work or where we live or charming smiles.
What do we know? Nothing.
How well do you know your
self? Maybe even a better question is, do you know yourself at all? Separate what you believe you know from what you actually know. Not tendencies or preferences or the type of politics in which we subscribe.
But what we know. Nothing.
Because for all the
This Is Me bravado I've spewed in a lifetime, I occasionally paint myself into thought-corners where I'm like, "oh shit, who the fuck
am I anyway?" It's like a flicker of light in the darkness of nightmares where I think I have it all figured and can somehow save myself this time and then I realize,
scio me nihil scire!
The one thing I can count on actually knowing, is that I know significantly nothing. And the unbearable realization is that I will never, ever, ever-in-a-million-years satisfy the particular pursuit of knowledge and curiosity. That defies logic, physics, and the time-space continuum.
The older I get and the more experience I gain, the one constant realized is that the rate of questions I have outpaces the answers by far. This differential applies not only to the external world but, I now realize, applies to the self as well.
How many people have actually invested resources in getting their own ideals and beliefs straight? I'm talking about serious introspection, self-knowledge, or a pure unencumbered awareness (Jnana). Self-realization but without all of the Paramahansa's rules [I remember reading that Yogananda shit in high school thinking I get it but why can't I do it my own damn way?]. Awareness and personal harmony without all the yoga and meditation and the "conceptual constraints" that come with that.
What you think you are may not be exactly what you actually live. How does one reconcile that?
Why is this important anyway? I guess if that's the question it doesn't really matter then.
γνῶθι σεαυτόν
Better butter makes better batter.
CLOSE CALL! Apron on, pre-heating, mixer out, and only German Chocolate mix. But a neighbor mom saved me.
Gi: "Why are you baking a cake?" Ty: "I like cake."
Literally, oven set to 250º for baking temp of 325º.
Oh dear, is that the cable man already?
Yes, I answered the door like this. I'm secure with it.
Who moved my cooling rack?
Oh if you could only smell my kitchen right now!
Lily calls it a white supremacist cake like she's never seen yellow cake with vanilla icing.
Oh, I can fix that with icing.
Better butter makes better batter.
CLOSE CALL! Apron on, pre-heating, mixer out, and only German Chocolate mix. But a neighbor mom saved me.
Gi: "Why are you baking a cake?" Ty: "I like cake."
Literally, oven set to 250º for baking temp of 325º.
Oh dear, is that the cable man already?
Yes, I answered the door like this. I'm secure with it.
Who moved my cooling rack?
Oh if you could only smell my kitchen right now!
Lily calls it a white supremacist cake like she's never seen yellow cake with vanilla icing.
Oh, I can fix that with icing.
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