Friday

May I Have A Moment to Discuss Internet Privacy (A Friday Rant)

BEGIN RANT

Okay, if I may have just one moment of your important World Wide time, I have something to add a so-called debate or issue that's been on my radar: internet privacy.

I am bemused by all the people who are so concerned about the Facebooks and the Facebooks's every-changing "privacy policy." It's the enter-webs in the aught-aughts. If your information is so precious and you don't want the otter-net to share it with everyone, don't put it on the inner-webs. This is nothing new, for realsie.

Make a big kid choice and either 1) keep it to yourself, or [gasp] 2) don't use the Facebooks. Nobody is forcing you to tell us what you ate for lunch (but penne does sound good). And nobody really cares that you went to middle school with some dude named "Rick" who plays guitar on weekends for an ABBA cover deal. Okay, so I saw a photo of your cousin who drives an El Camino. Busted! Your impoverished roots are showing! If you're complaining about your "awful boss" on the Facebooks, he or she probably hates you too. People know these things. But, yeah, if you get the stink eye at work, it's your own blabby fault. Not the Facebooks. Look, I don't even like the Facebooks that much but I'm not faulting them because people know my birth date or that my middle name is Julius. You put it there. The Facebooks should have the privacy policy link to a mirror.

Fact: you ain't going to get any "privacy" on the Facebooks. What fantasy planet do you come from? Your petitions are great, and they really are. And by [finger quotes] "great" I mean like Eric Cantor's silly "YouCut" thing. But, really, privacy. Sorry, "privacy." It's 2010. Where you been?

If you don't want people to know that you've read all the Harry Potter books and are "aching for more," the inter-webs is NO PLACE TO HIDE THAT." Mostly, we don't care what you got on the Netflix.

I feel better now. Oh, and here's my auto-reply to anyone wanting to "debate" this: seriously?!

Good day, people!

END-OF-RANT