Friday

Remnants



Geocities -> Reocities

WELL...

Remember when I told you that Yahoo! was gonna kill Geocities thus killing the original tKoL homepage and Afrodavid? And they did too!

Well some kids mirrored all the Geocities stuff and called it: reocities.com

What?! Are you kidding me? All that mid-90's garbage? Hell yeah!

So, here are some original middlespace sites that was once scraped and is now (at least temporarily) back:
the Kingdom of Leisure

The Afrodavid Thinktank
And, thus thus, I've put both links back in the middlespace archives.

...IT JUSS GOSE TO SHOWE.

Middlespace of America - 7




When people send me meat, I make hot dogs, don.

[Headphones are "good a thing"]

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Music by the Kingdom of Leisure
[Middlespace of America Video Album]
[Middlespace of America - 6]
[Middlespace of America - 5]
[Middlespace of America - 4]
[Middlespace of America - 3]
[Middlespace of America - 2]
[Middlespace of America - 1]

Snowed In? Priceless Banter #8 On Headphone Friday

Thursday

I'm Sorry...But It Makes Me Laugh, Aloud

Rip Walker (l) and Todd Harvey did it like this in 1998: [clicky]

I apologize that EVERY TIME this 17-minute dinosaur rock epic opera comes on the ShuffleTunes I post a goddamn link. But you know what? It rocks so sue me. Plus this mix of Princess Bridge, Ruins of Pagosa and Whe’re All the Kids in the Street? has 2000's Manifesto from the LA Black record tagged on like a some weird space coda. And it works! What more could god grant in one lifetime?

This time listen to the drums (and the screaming). Last time I had you listen to the guitars. That's some inspired "tap-tap" drumming in the Katbocks. LISTEN TO THE DRUMS!

Headphones mandatory. Doy.

Ask Ty...February 25 [The Dad Rules Question]

It must be Tuesday Thursday, Middlespace Cadets, because I'm answering your questions
Q: Dear Ty,

You mentioned one of your "Dad Rules" elsewhere on the Internet - "#4 - Petulance will not be tolerated" - that's excellent; what are consequences, and what are #s 1-3?

- Hazel
Ty: Good question and an even better observation, Hazel. Surprisingly, with all the Web logging I've done over the years, I cannot believe I've only mentioned my Dad Rules once. What the hell?! Dadding is pretty much my most important and most favorite activity in life. Something I take seriously and give a lot of thought to.

When my child was very young I began telling her stuff like, "Dad rule number one, check yourself before you wreck yourself." It was kind of modeled after social psychologist (and one of my thesis advisers) Elliot Aronson's Aronson's First Law.* Well, over time (and by the time she was four or five), Dad Rules had become the foundational and guiding principles to my approach to teaching and raising a responsible and respectful child; both in terms of the child's expectations and the conceptual continuity that makes it work for the two of us long term.

I mean, Jesus Crispies, so many parents just totally suck at parenting that I figured that if I do one thing well in my life it may as well be parenting. I work the hardest at parenting. Between the overly permissive parents and the totally neglectful parents there has to be a functional, lucid reality. I basically steal all the best elements of parenting that I've observed and do my best to not do the worst. I have tried to make it all work together rather than some hodgepodge of individual items.

What I can report so far is that it is working. If you begin early and consistently with the development of people (children, a work team, an army, a relationship) rather than constantly respond to remediation measures the opportunity success grows. The best is when I can simply say, "Honey? Remember rule one..." and squash a situation before it becomes a problem. I can call, "Petulance..." with the response, "...will not be tolerated" echoing from the congregation. Dad rules rule!

So, Hazel, you asked for it, here they are as I have educated my child, annotated. There are ten:

The Dad Rules
by Ty Hardaway
1) Check yourself before you wreck yourself - Well, this nugget loosely translated means be aware of your behavior and how that balances with your attitude because if you don't, you may someday wake up a total loser. This really should be life rule #1. It's about decisions and choices. As we develop and mature we are presented with increasingly complicated behavior and ethical choices. My suggestion is a person should always pause to ponder the possible consequences of one's choices (check yourself).

2) Skills pay the bills - If you go through life and learn nothing, your life will basically be the sum of your knowledge: nothing. Your cumulative life skill set roughly translates to your ultimate earning power/happiness quotient/etc. Knowledge and your skills can create a cycle of opportunity.

3) Take your time pooping - Seriously. Consider this well. If you distill it to basic life functions and you find that you just must for some reason somehow rush your movements (or worse squelch your movements) then you just may be living your life wrong. I mean absent predator attack or other danger one should really let the body work at the body's pace. How you treat your body will affect how you treat your life and the lives of others. Grab a magazine on the way in.

4) Petulance will not be tolerated - Nope. You are not allowed to whine, slam doors, or talk to anyone in a disrespectful manner. It reflects poorly on yourself. If there is a reason you are irritated or annoyed; huffy; snappish; irritable; grouchy; bad-tempered; or ill-tempered, we am more than happy to discuss it with you and help you find a resolution. There is a place for anger and debate. But consider how and when you chose to use them.

5) Sometimes you just have to play the game - People will give you stuff. Sometimes (perhaps often) the social game can feel intolerable. We all have certain family, work, and school obligations. We all have hoops to jump. Some of these obligations may feel beneath us. Other tasks are duplicated ad nauseum. And some situations are just plain boring. So? Why be a jerk about it? Just play the game--situationally and with great style--maybe you will learn something. Patience is one of the ultimate virtues. And people will give you stuff for free.

6) Listening keeps you out of trouble - This began as a reminder that parents say things not just to be correct but to teach. Sometimes things are said with little to no context and sound like "orders." Yep. And there are reasons. Maybe we know shit kids don't know. Time for discussion, debate, and push-back may or may not come at a later point, but for the most part, if you listen you will also learn.

7) You are welcome to tell me or ask me anything, anytime - We promise that we will try our hardest to keep an open door and mind to discussion, debate, and push-back on any topic. But you have to also know that if you have questions or information, we actually really want to hear it. Really! We try not to judge, but sometimes our experience shapes responses. Know that. Just as we want you to come to us with any question or comment, we need to do our best to make that safe and comfortable for you. And yes, there really ARE dumb questions (we'll try not to say that though).

8) First impressions are lasting impressions - How you present yourself or your products (homework, quizzes, Web logs, etc.) may be the very thing that shapes the opinions of influential people and ultimately tracks you to success or mediocrity. That tip of your iceberg should represent the you that you want represented. That is something you can control.

9) The Golden Rule is pretty bad ass - Yes, the basic ethical principles to/of The Golden Rule can serve as an important behavioral and attitudinal template. But always remember: not only treat others as you want them to treat you, but balance that responsibility with the expectation. That is, do not tolerate disrespect. Associating yourself with people who disrespect you is disrespectful.

10) Listening will keep you out of trouble - Always maintain a healthy observational presence. Look and listen, but also see and hear. You'll know when trouble is brewing. Avoid it. Listen to yourself first and foremost.
Today was the first time I fleshed this all out, really. But these are pretty much the "rules" (more, guiding principles than rules) and my interpretations. It's not like these are rules that are posted on the refrigerator in a contract I made a three year-old sign. They are reminders; a way to keep my focus as well as hers. I usually bring them up when a particular situation warrants. They are ten discussion points we can come back to when needed.

As far as consequences, Hazel, situations where I have to remind the young one of one of the "rules" generally involve the rule reminder followed by a short discussion. The 'whys' are far more important than the rules; the discussion more important than the reminder. Messy homework? Rule #8. Don't want to go to dinner at the neighbor's? Rule #5. Being mean or judgmental? See rule #9.

During the long snow break from school boredom created a bit of a cabin monster. We not only had to discuss rules 6 and 10 (and a couple of others), but I actually wrote the reminder on an index card after a particularly frustrating incident. Surprisingly, kiddo put it on her bulletin board herself. The conversation was illuminating to me and helpful for her.

Mostly, though, kids see through all our bullshit. Never forget that. If you don't mean the things you are "teaching" them or if you don't demonstrate them in your life, they have absolutely no reason to buy in. Your moral authority doesn't exist. If you walk the talk, you have an increased probability that your offspring will follow you on that walk.

But what do I know? Nothing! That's what.

Just a guess,

-ty

--------------------
* Aronson's First Law: People who do crazy things are not necessarily crazy.

Wednesday

When We're Talkin' 'bout Oysters...

...we're not talkin' 'bout pearls.

You know what we're talkin' 'bout.

Tree Hugging

I finally had the opportunity to focus some attention on the plants. The snow had been so high and prevalent that other priorities dictated. Ice damming, walkways, heat control, bviously.

Clearly I am aware that a lot of damage has occurred. My 6 ft. conical evergreen has been bent flat for most of the winter. The junipers and laurels have been buried and out of sight. The Japanese beautyberry and the plant next to it (with white, early spring blossoms) have disappeared; twigs sticking out in all the wrong directions. Azalea? Gone!

But, the one plant I actually had some worry over was the laceleaf Japanese maple. I've groomed this tree for eight years. It was perfectly shaped and the signature plant of the garden. Colors varied throughout the year from maroon to light and dark greens to bright red. To brown.

I was saddened to see that the maple suffered three major breaks. Splits that no graft could repair. In fact, since the weight was still pulling downward, I felt obligated to cut the breaks. Amputations. Dis-figuration. About a third of the plant severed.

Tuesday

The Kentlands of Leisure


Ask Ty...February 23 [The T.C. Question]

It must be Tuesday, Middlespace Cadets, because I'm answering your questions
Q: Dear Ty,

Will you be the T.C. to my Magnum?

(Honestly you don't have to answer this but it came to me tonight when I was doing dishes)

- Grayman

Ty: Good question and an even better observation, Grayman. Actually I had to look this one up because I never watched that TeeVee series. I'm plenty old enough to have watched the entire run, but it wasn't my bag, man. I was more into comedy and documentary at that time. Good question though because I've never encountered such a direct proposition. An even better observation because of our respective physical traits.

I mean, I guessed what the question was all about. Magnum P.I. was played by Tom "The White Guy" Selleck's mustache and T.C. was his trusty black sidekick. Doy, that's us, right? I can imagine that when you're doing the dishes and that apron is a bit tight and constricting your breathing and you get to thinking of me you see us in this kind of "buddy film" fashion like Lethal Weapon and Cop Out. I get it. Good guy partners solving crimes and mysteries throughout the world like Bill Cosby and Robert Culp. Awwww...how quaint.

But what I had to research on, Grayman, were the specifications of your question because I just didn't know the characters. I suspect your query has more to do with masculine adventure hi-jinx T.C. and Thomas encountered from episode to episode than some sort of homo-erotic desire to become somewhat even "closer" to me in a tropical setting sipping drinks from coconuts with tiny decorative umbrellas. Not that there's anything wrong with that (doy) because love is love. I know you believe me to be an irresistible and solid partner ready for 9 out of 10 missions. I'll shoot an elderly paraplegic woman priest to save you from harm, pal. Right in her evil-doing throat just like we practice at the small arms range. We'll always be cool like that.

So, sure, if you really want to be a drifter-loser-burnout-alcoholic an ex-military hero with a 1970's porn industry mustache who lives in a bungalow on some rich dude's property (apparently Magnum "owes" the rich guy something) and does "private investigations" for him while I get to be the sober burly black helicopter Mandingo angel, then...uh, well sure, Grayman. I'll be the T.C. to your Magnum.

I do. In Massachusetts, Connecticut, Iowa, New Hampshire, and Vermont (and kind of in California and Hawaii, home of Magnum and T.C. - 4evr).

What?! Why I always gotta be the fucking black dude in these movies? Why I even gotta be considered as the fucking side kick? Fuck that shit. I'd push Thomas Magnum's sorry ass out of my helicopter for non-payment. That dude was a total bum, clearly.

Okay, if let's play movie character doppelganger. If anyone, I'm playing Link from The Mod Squad. Maybe, if I have to be a cop, just maybe I'll play Alonzo from Training Day. But maybe I'd play fucking Vincent Vega rockin' that UC Santa Cruz Banana Slug t-shirt in Pulp Fiction. Yes, Vincent "the white guy" Vega not Jules "the black guy" Winfield. Both performances were brilliant but Travolta got top billing.

How bout this, Grayman: Will you be the Jules Winfield to my Vince Vega?

I've never played sidekick and I ain't starting now.

Just a guess,

-ty Vince V.

Monday

S-s-s-something From the Emailings

I suppose there really are only four types of art:
1. Real art from real artists
2. Real art from phonies
3. Phony art from real artists
4. Phony art from phonies

My assessment as discussed with John Meadows.

What the Child Sees, Draws

[See also: The Kid's Mirror]

Motorcycle Cat (or, Seven Man Front in Real Life) - Now With Stereophonic Sound

It happened yet again
I was in the shower when
Bulls on Parade
Came on the local radio
And off I went on one of
Those memory K-hole things
Seany Hi-def just mentioned

1996 or 1997 summer
Corporate/government softball nonsense
Hot as balls humid
Dingy Crowbar and fungus
Raging Against Machines
Over and over and over and over...
Album in entirety many times

Dark
Dank dark
Hot as Haiti humid
And a tiny odd-old man in black
With a cat on his shoulders
A cat wearing a tiny motorcycle helmet
A real live cat - frightened since forever

After some words
More friendly than not
Off he went
A man and a cat
On a real live motorcycle
You remember it too
Right?

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Did you "clicky"?

One Month Until Spring



Saturday

Middlespace of America Video Assignment #7

Cadets. It is Middlespace of America video submission assignment time again.

We are ready to work Track #7. For this round we are hunting for:

tr00f

Interpret as you like. Send in 30-60 seconds of good, new VIDEO, please.

If you know my Gmail, send it there. If you don't send it to:

ty[at]middlespace[dot]net

Since last time was a dismal FAILURE*, let's try this time. No questions, just actions.

Go, Cadets, go!


-----------------
* Clarification: Failure was on my part**.
** For counting you all of you! Step it up, Team Middlespace.

What Comes Around...Doin' A Thing!



Friday

Pamela Today

[Winter people]

Come Together - Happy Ending

And so it all comes to an organic and predictable end.

Father of the Year
, Working From Home*, and Seated (part of the Blizzard 2010 series) have all ended.

Thank you.


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* Also see Working From Home - long version.

Thursday

Let Me Get This Straight

BROWN guy crashes plane into building killing people because he's mad at the U.S. government and it's called TERRORISM and we go to war and kill and bankrupt the country and have to take our shoes off at the airport and stuff.

WHITE guy crashes plane into building killing people because he's mad at the U.S. government and it's called NOT TERRORISM but a heroic act by citizens who "want their elected officials to be accountable” (Scott Brown) so it's okay.

Oh, now I get it...makes perfect sense to me.

You Pick The Caption




a) One email to the mayor takes care of business.
b) I felt like an 8 year-old today with all the trucks around.
c) I only had them do the block without the stupid chairs.
d) Most people will never even notice.
e) You're welcome neighbors.

The Epic Old Guy, or, Life Ain't No Game

Today I was going to write about Epic Beard Man* but I feel horribly behind on the topic. I just learned about it yesterday. From Seany Hi-Def, thanks. It's 2010 and "so last week" may as well be some nuance from a reenactment of the battle of Gettysburg...eleven years ago...in Canada. It would be like writing about Stuff White People Like or LOLCats or some shit today, February 18, in the year of the lord, two-thousand ten. Old. Like 67 years-old.

But I still have something to say on the topic because I know that the obvious is sometimes missed. Not snap-judgment here, don. Here's what I need to say here: Life sometimes gives you clues, follow them.

You do not fuck with a guy who says to you in perfect U.S. American English words the following five things:
  1. "You ain't scarin' this white boy" - Okay, Thomas Bruso sets the stage clearly. Mr. Bruso is communicating that contrary to popular culture mythology, he is actually not only unafraid, but is physiologically preparing for battle. Even watching on the world wide, it is clear through the sights and sounds that Vietnam Tom is actually not bluffing about not being afraid. Decision: Leave him alone.
  2. "I'm 67 years-old" - This is not a please-leave-me-alone-I'm-an-old-man plea for mercy. This is the hint that he has survived this long for a good reason, he is a motherfucker. This is a warning. Decision: Leave the man be.
  3. "You won't do nothing to me" - Again, do not misinterpret this statement as a weakness. This is not a nambly-pambly retreat. This is the guarantee that comes with the warning. This is the voice of knowledge. Decision: Drop the beef, look for escape route.
  4. "I see 'tough guys' like you and I slap the shit out of 'em" - I don't know if I pity the poor kid who stepped into this hornet's nest of sidewalk dogshit, but Jesus, man...heed the warnings. Mr. Bruso is laying it all out for you. Yes, kid, not only has he delivered beat-downs in his life, but he's been beat-down. Epic Beard Man has already assessed the opponent. The game was over before it began. Decision: Retreat.
  5. "Don't fuck with me" - This post-ass kicking statement is not a warning to the victim. The victim is already defeated. This recapitulation serves a dual purpose (none of it taunting or boasting). Mr. Bruso is instructing others not to get involved. Additionally, he is showing a degree of sympathy. He just easily laid this kid out (he knew that would be the result). What this post-fists-of-fury statement says, "You didn't listen to me. I tried to help you, son. Learn to trust people and observe clues." Decision: "Bring the amber lamps."
These are clues. Clues to living. Clues for survival. For Buddha sake, the man is wearing a red flag of a clue t-shirt that states all one ever needed to know about the situation, "I AM A MOTHERFUCKER."

When life gives you clues, follow them. I can't decide if Charles Darwin would cry or celebrate.

I invite you to weigh in.

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* If you don't know the context, catch up a bit:


Wednesday

Life Imitates Art, or, The Closest Exit May Be Behind You

I find it increasingly important to step back from situations, thoughts, and sometimes well-established behaviors to ponder what I truly believe. I find it a good exercise to balance my natural obstinate tendencies and my self-righteousness with quiet, thoughtful observation and reflection. This is a very good thing to do; a truth-seeking ideal.

It would be easy to live free of self-analysis. It would be too easy to shy away from issues outside our own perspective-bubbles. And it would be far too easy to have neither curiosity nor opinion. People get too accustomed to their own shortcomings that they invest disproportionately in denial, hiding behaviors, and avoidance. Lying to oneself is the ultimate act of disrespect (to yourself and everyone else).

I like to watch situations unfold. And more and more, I provide myself with a check with regard to my influence on these situations and how these situations affect me (context). I also compare what my immediate judgment was with what my analytical judgment reveals. Snap-judgment--a normal human tendency--is frequently without context and is often tangled with emotion and, in my opinion, fraught with error potential. Analytical judgment, while providing a more full palette of information, can take time to process. Balance is key.

So, what am I learning? I'm learning that I've honed my snap-judgment skills to the point where I'm about 95% correct in my Malcolm-Gladwell-Blink-titude. When I judge books by covers, I'm generally correct. With people, there is only one glaring judgment error I can think of, historically, where I was totally off about a person (which turned out to be fortunate since that person became one of my dearest friends). In short, I'm just usually right.

The blessing is that I don't have to spend (waste) any additional time getting to know a person because I generally gather all I need immediately. The curse is that people sometime find me cold, distant, and aloof. Meh, I just don't have time to waste. I sacrifice a slim probability for surprise for reliability.

Anyway, and I've thought this through for some time, I'm kind of over it anymore. I've waded in the superficial and flirted with the mainstream only to come away either disappointed or annoyed. Most people just can't get past their myopic, damaging baggage though. They just cannot help themselves; too lost to find what they need of themselves. Judgment? Toss ballast.

My friends and colleagues, at present, are pretty damn solid though and have helped me realize a thing. The foundation is set. This I know: The time has arrived to move from "I think" to "I know." It's part of a progression where at some point proteges become mentors, students become teachers, and apprentices become masters.
Master Po: Close your eyes. What do you hear?
Young Caine: I hear the water, I hear the birds.
Po: Do you hear your own heartbeat?
Caine: No.
Po: Do you hear the grasshopper which is at your feet?
Caine: Old man, how is it that you hear these things?
Po: Young man, how is it that you do not?
The data is clear and now I know some things now. Not everything, of course, but I'm on the first rung of a very long ladder. I hear the middlespaces.

Tuesday

Nighttime

The Relaxation

Again - Now it is A Time
Leaving the weary behind
Raising up kingdoms
While maintaining station
And where have I been?
I am always right here
Right under your knows
More and less status: quo

I now visit anew
Cusp of the spring
Feeling especially enthusiastic
Tanned, rested, ready, willing, and able
Senses particularly sharpened
And deciphering bar
Set quite high indeed (if not impossible)
Organic starting lines - again

Monday

When People Panic, or, Same Old Same Old

Thanks again, people, I do get tired on my little walks.

[Human Nature, etc.]

Sunday

Playing the Snow Card

Uh, the kiddo put this up last Friday. Maybe we should take it down. Maybe it's nature imitating art.

The Joys and Responsibilities of Dog Ownership

Dog owners of Kentlands: really? That's shameful and embarrassing. Next time read your dog's owner's manual.

Human Nature (Chokeout & Haircut)

Beginning of storm: everyone helping each other out selflessly.

End of storm: everyone of themselves selfishly.


[have a seat]
[more]

Saturday

S-s-s-something From The Emailings

"Saw this on my way to dinner."

- LilyDC

Hoedown Truncation

Our improvisation piano and banjo jam (we switched instruments a couple of times) ended suddenly when, after a rippin' glissando, she fell off the piano bench and into some guitars. Just when things were getting really good with a heavy 3-4 emphasis.

It's as if my studio was the new Haitian Blizzard of 2010 in Tiger Wood's Escalade (Michael Jackson's Thriller playing in the "tape deck"; luge in the back).

Have A Seat


[more]