Monday

Ask Ty...November 3

Middlespacers, I'm answering your questions today....

Q
: Ty,
I know you've sworn off politics and this may be moot by the time you answer it on Election Day (if you choose to answer it at all). But I've been watching and/or reading a lot of interweb coverage of the election and I have one important question that doesn't seem to have come up in any other sharp, flawless, unbiased investigative reporting that the interweb is known for.

Is Michelle Obama like 6'2"?

Sincerely,

Elitest Elitist

Ty: Good question and an even better observation, EE. I know. It's not Tuesday but here goes. Shelly Oh!® is pretty tall. I know. I've met her, remember [clicky]? She's 5' 10 3/4" [clicky]. That's pretty tall. Barry Oh!® is 6' 1 1/2". So she generally looks as tall or taller than her husband given heels. That took me like twenty seconds to Google up, so I know that's not what's really on your mind.

Dang, here we are, huh? Tomorrow's that thing that I dare not say. Tomorrow. Fuck. Homie v. Pappy for the future of America. Heavy. Am I nervous? Hell yes...more than I'll let on. Am I scared? Hell yes...more than I'll ever let on. I mean, what the hell, right? Tomorrow's that thing I dare not say.

People are weird right now and not just because it's that weird day after the time change vibe. People can't eat. People can't sleep. People are tense. People are hedging bets. It's totally fucked up. I'm going into town (DC) and check the vibe a little later so maybe I'll have some context. But. Damn, huh?

I cannot focus either. Rather, I've completely buried myself in my work so I don't have to focus. I can't take pictures or write poetry for shit right now. I started one poem (after a long hiatus) but it keeps fading...
Strange late night garlic dreams
Of old couples out for breakfast
reading the Sunday paper

And dangerously naive notions
that anyone can succeed --
Flambeur Joueur
...and that's as far as I got. But yeah, Shelly Oh!® is pretty tall. And really smart.

And I don't know if I have correctly predicted what Wednesday will be like. This kind of bothers me because I'm generally very good at predicting the future. I do have predictions, but for some reason I just don't know how right I am. Not that I think I'm wrong, but that maybe it will just be...different than I guessed. At the worst, it could just be more of the same old bullshit. At best, it could be even better than I've predicted.

But I think I'm pretty cool considering all that is happening. I'm feeling a calm. I feel relaxed like John McCain's funny ass on SNL on S [clicky]. You could have written in your little notebooks the dot on the exclamation point after the words "game over!" on S.

Anyway.... Kingdom of Leisure. This is the New America. One Fine Ride. All of that shit [clicky].

Just a guess,

-ty

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