Monday

Mope Squad America!

Being John Edwards

Hey, I wrote this about John Edwards right here on January 7 [clicky]:
Something is wrong with this guy. It’s the constant blinking and that thing he does with his tongue. OCD? Medications? Dunno. I have the feeling he gets that nasty spit thing in the corner of his mouth too.

Daddy worked in a textile mill? Check! Not all corporations are bad? Check! Sue the ones that are though? Check! Two Americas? Check! Fighting for the poor? Check! We appreciate all those things.

But, there’s something wrong with him. Hint: His wife has Stage IV cancer. He needs to stop fucking around with playing dress-up and go out and love his wife before she fucking dies. What’s wrong with him? He needs to do us all a favor and be a “voice for change” and change his mind about this campaign and take a vacation with Lizzy and the chill-rens.
Yeah, something was wrong with John Edwards. He's a fucking douchebag.