Wednesday

Real Survivor

They should just go for it and give the white team an unfair advantage in every competition. And every three days, the white team can go take something from the black team camp. [and sell them cigarettes and malt liquor at premium prices]

And then one day, they should let the black team take something from the white team camp, and then accuse them of looting.
[They could build little palm jails and have probation officers from the white team]

During white tribal councils, the white tribe should just shoot the shit with Jeff and drink martinis and then when they ask if they really have to vote someone out, Jeff will be all "No."
[then they'd high-five and say things like, "dats da bomb!"]

When the black tribe shows up, Jeff should be all harsh and stern.
[he could express his disappointment in them]

And they should have one tribe of indigenous people from wherever this thing is being filmed, but the producers should give them all chicken pox or diarrhea or something so they all have to quit and move away and let the white tribe take their camp.
[and those who don't die from disease will be detained as terrorist threats]

And then they should introduce the latinio team later into the game and they should let them into the white tribe one by one until one day the white tribe is like "what the fuck?" and all of a sudden the latinios outnumber them (but all sleep in one little hut).
[obviously there would be questions of their legal immigration status, at least just before any voting commences and they’d get voted off one by one]

And then the producers should forget about the black tribe for like a week and then be all "oh, are you still here? We forgot."
[then they can flood their camp with sewage and then send them all to Houston and Barbara Bush can call them “cute little monkeys”]

And the Asian team could have these little cars to drive around but they drive them really poorly. Even though the white tribe laughs at them all the time and calls them all sorts of names they'd still do the white tribes homework and stuff. You know, to be accepted.